Things strangers say to you

[Kirsten]

What is with strangers?

I thought it was bad enough being pregnant and getting "advice" from strangers on the street. I've discovered it's even worse when you actually have your baby - and heaven forbid if your baby cries in public.

My baby is 10 weeks old and so far I have had the following suggestions from people I have never met before.

- "You had better have another one soon - you can't just have one baby"
- "You shouldn't hold your baby upright - you will damage his spine"
- "You need to give that baby a dummy" (when he is crying)
- "You need to give that baby a dummy" (when he is not crying)
- "You need to give that baby a dummy" (when he is laughing!!)

I've received a lot of dirty looks and evil glares if he cries - as if I am actually hurting him to make him cry to spoil strangers days!

Anyone else had some "helpful" suggestions on child rearing?

[shellbell3]

I find that whenever bubs does cry in public everyone likes to tell you she is hungry, like what would they know!?
Plus another thing that bothers me is when she is dressed in pink from head to toe and people ask if its a girl or boy!

I find the IL's most annoying though more than strangers, they always like to tell me she is bored whenevr she cries and then proceed to try and stimulate her when she's actually tired or hungry!

[kittykat]

I like that alot just smile and wave boys i can agree totally just today i was at my bubs clinic check up ( 7weeks) and if looks could kill i would be 6 ft under 10 times over i have 2 toddlers as well so controlling them and soothing a crying baby without a dummy ( left at home ) in a small waiting room at the hospital is really hard its no wonder i need a few drinks by the end of the day lol

[ShootingStar]

Yeh i agree with Shell.. IL's are the worst.. well mine are..

MIL has said:
"He wont look at me, why wont he look at me" - Jesse has got this since he was a week old!
"Hes upset and he wont come to me will he oh how sad" - like reverse phsycology dont work with me.
"Oh i just want cuddles but he just wants his mummy thats so sad isnt it" - as above!
"Put some alcohol on his dummy if he's crying" - ?!?!??!!!

And the one i hate the most is:
"Dont look at your mother youve been with her all day!"

[mummy2Kaitlyn]

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Kell : "Dont look at your mother youve been with her all day!"...I have had this one as well!!!!!!!!! MIL is also the worst.

In fact ..just to shock you all I recall a particular statement she made to my 9year old niece. After my Niece asked her not to kiss her as she smelt of cigarette smoke (valid point I think) She said to my niece "dont be a bi*ch, what did I do to deserve a bi*ch for a granddaughter" no word of a lie!!!!! And my SIL did not say anything. I told Len I would have told her to leave my home if she ever spoke to my child like that ...things people say hey...should keep their thoughts to themselves sometimes.

[Proud Mummy]

Yes I know exactly what ur talking about! And sometimes people (who I have never met before) feel the need to comment too, like when shes crying someone said "Oh Gee, shes not in a happy mood!" well thanks for pointing that out!

[visitor2]

When reading all these i am so glad my IL's live overseas.
A few times my MIL has said "oh they look just like you Paul" hey didn't i have some part it in as well and we've had "you used to do that Paul" like i have never done anything in my life.

I hate it when ppl always say the opposite sex to what you have. I've had ppl do that with all of mine.

[kmh]

I hate it also when people ask you what sex is that baby?

My biggest one is: You should put her to formula. As Charlotte was a bad sleeper and now she does not gain much weight.

[ShootingStar]

Oh i have another.. "What a mean mummy you have not giving you any food" when Jess is whingy >> another one MIL says, even said it last night!! Like have a look at him.. he really looks like he's wasting away! .. the 10kg porker he is!

[Trish]

Cass, OMG at

She said to my niece "dont be a bi*ch, what did I do to deserve a bi*ch for a granddaughter"

I would have been inclined to say, "well, clearly it's a family thing!!" Or something along those lines.

I love it when people tell me what to do, or what it will be like when they are 3, 10 , or 13, and I say, Oh yes I know. I have a 15 year old !!

[mrsmac]

I love it when people tell me what to do, or what it will be like when they are 3, 10 , or 13, and I say, Oh yes I know. I have a 15 year old !![/QUOTE]


I love that too Trish, the whole "just wait til he's older etc" to which I can say the same as you LOL That shuts them up usually cause invariably its someone whose oldest kid is about 8 saying it to me!!
I hate it when MIL tries to take Rileys dummy out saying "you don't need that old thing" - he just puts it straight back in his mouth!!

[lilprecious75]

In the early days when I was using the sling I got some/all of the following...

**he will get spoiled if you keep carrying him like that...
**he is too hot in that thing - take him out...
**can he breath in there?

and the best one from my MIL
**he is out of the womb now he has to get used to it** this before he was even 6 weeks old!!

I have also had the gender issues - I haven't cut his hair yet (he'll be 14 months on Friday) and his hair is getting a tad long and is a touch wavy/curly in the back, but I dress him in obvious boy clothes yet I get people asking me if he is a girl!!

I get LOTS of advice for the sleep issues we have - I just smile and change the subject - I still do a couple of night feeds a night and we co-sleep at least 50% of the night and that is working for us for the time being so we will keep doing it!

I know I will continue to get more advice so I just try to deal with it the best I can...

One last thing... we live with my FIL and I have all sorts of issues with him - but his health is such that I would be very uncomfortable with him living by himself and DS and he have a beautiful relationship and I'm thankful for that as I don't know if FIL will live long enough for DS to be able to remember him.
Having said that... DS demands to be held all the time by FIL and also expects passive entertainment from FIL and I'm going to have to put a stop to both of those. Tonight I casually mentioned that the more he picks him up the more he is encouraging the behaviour. FIL commented that it was okay because he only ask FIL to pick him up - to which I answered that we need to teach him that Grandpa can't always pick him up just because he wants him to. He put him down after I said that so perhaps he will get the picture soon.

[shellbell3]

Ooh yeah Heidi, I forgot to mention bout getting sleep advice from everyone and how my baby "should" be sleeping thru by now I must be doing something wrong!

[pebbles2820]

Aaaah, memories, and neverplan is correct, the advice never stops.
My XMIL and my brothers MIL both complain that the grandkids never want to have anything to do with them and why do they go to their other grandma. Well it may have something to do with the fact that my mother actually spends time with them and talks to them unlike their other GP who judge continuously "you're feeding them the wrong thing", "they're not dressed warmly enough", "they're too noisy" etc and still expect to be loved. Sorry, just felt the urge to vent a bit.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

How about my husband... DS is too loud, cries too much, should be sleeping through, I am doing everything wrong and he must be teething, see, his gums look a bit whitish. And have since birth, you oaf!

I get it from my mum that DS shouldn't have bad nights and should sleep through too. No strangers yet, but close family is worse sometimes. Luckily DS already has a dummy as he won't keep his thumb in when I try that.

[Catastrophic]

I get the is she a boy or girl alot!!! And i dress her in pink 95% of the time! (haha thats usually when they ask too -

and i hate it when shes crying and people go "ohh whats ur mum doing to u" implying im doing something wrong!

[2CheekyMonkeys]

sorry to hear your stories!! i must be one of the lucky ones, my family and family in law are great. the only thing that my MIL said (and she whispered it to my partner so i couldn't hear, but he told me) was 'she seems hot and bothered, you should give her a bath'. actually, now that i think about it, she has said to my partner a few times we should bath her more often! oh well.

[Claire]

What gets me is anything good my daughter accomplishes my IL's say, 'she gets that from our side of the family' - doesn't leave me much to attribute to my parenting!