Those few first weeks, as a new mum with a newborn...

[MrsB26]

TBH, it wasnt as bad as what i thought it would be. I remember telling anyone who would listen that i thought it would be harder. I must have gotten the worst horror stories beforehand.

Yes, breastfeeding was terribly painful but the sleep deprivation wasnt that bad. I just slept when he slept and yes i am one of those people who can slepp anywhere anytime so it wasnt really an issue for me. Ds wasnt a baby who had wind issues or colic or just cried 'because' so i was lucky there. He was a pretty textbook newborn (if there is such a thing) - eat, sleep, poo.

I found the challenges to come around 4 months. Trying to establish routine, crying at 7pm every night for an hour, not wanting to sleep etc. That's when i started to find it ALOT harder andthis continued until about 8 months. Not horrible all the time but i just found it a bit challenging.

So for me, our babymoon was actually quite lovely and fingerscrossed for the next one to be the same

[MrsB26]

Controlfreak - just actually read your post and sounds like we had the same deal

[butterfly_warrior]

My experience was very similar to Janie's - four weeks early and all he wanted to do was sleep. We were often waking him for feeds during the first six weeks or so.

I do realise that a lot of my experience with Sam as a newborn at home was set by spending ten days in SCN in a very structured routine (but he stuck to it when we left) and by realising two weeks in that breastfeeding was never going to work for us and switching to formula full-time. I also don't really recall any wild hormonal swings, but hormones are one area where my body just doesn't do what it's meant to.

I did find the lack of sleep hard, but I have a very supportive husband who did a lot of night feeds for me.

BW

[Glamourcide]

Depending on what mood I'm in when I look back on those first few weeks, I either smile or burst into tears. Some days, I remember the good moments, but other times, I remember that feeling of hitting rock-bottom, bursting into tears at nothing, looking at my new baby and honestly wondering what it would feel like to just throw her on the floor and shut the door behind me... so yeah, it wasn't really all that fun. And the thing was, I had plenty of familial support, we lived with my parents so help was only down the hallway... it was just such an overwhelming time, trying to adjust to this new, dependent little person while being sorely sleep-deprived, having BFing issues (ie, failing miserably at it), and learning all the ins and outs of caring for said little person. Of course I'd been warned about how it was going to be, my mum particularly was quite gleeful before the birth about how I was never going to sleep in again (I'm the queen of mid-afternoon wake-ups lol), how I was going to have to put baby's needs before mine, etc etc... I think even she saw that my struggling was more than just, 'But I want to stay in bed because I'm a lazy a**e'. I knew it was going to be hard, but sheeeeesh. And I was extremely lucky in that DD1 was pretty much a 'textbook' newborn - no wind/colic/reflux issues, only cried when she was hungry or wet, ate on a strict 3-hourly schedule (ie, I knew that I had until 3pm to go shopping because at 3 on the dot she would start screaming for a bottle), and was quite content as long as someone was cuddling her... so in comparison to a lot of new mums, I had it very easy! (And to all those mums out there who DID have difficult babies.... I kneel before you, you're AMAZING!)
I think my problem lay more in having issues myself (ie, mild PND after a traumatic birth), than with my baby. I especially believe this after having DD2 - easy, complication-free birth, home from hospital same day, not even a hint of tears or 'baby blues' in the days and weeks afterward... it was blissful!

[ezymay]

I never felt blissful!! Just about from the moment she came out I was a mess. I felt anxious and we had feeding issues, she ended up in special care and I just wanted to run away. Ended up with PND. I don't remember when I felt better, I think I step forward was getting feeding issues sorted and I decided to express full time and as I learnt more about her and how I wanted to parent her I felt better and of course the treatment!!!
I understand for some it is blissful but for me it wasn't...next time hopefully will be better

[Acacia]

Depending on what mood I'm in when I look back on those first few weeks, I either smile or burst into tears.

:yeahthat: GC has summed it up pretty well for me, too

After going through really traumatic IVF experiences (including an early loss), I was on this amazing high from the moment I had my DD in my arms, as it was only then when I actually felt that everything was going to be okay and that I could stop fearing that I was going to lose her... but then the hormones kicked in (as well as the sleep deprivation from extended 44 hr labour and then emergency c/s) despite the high. And I had PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) prior to being pregnant so for me the hormone rollercoaster after birth was like mega PMDD... And then the colic/wind started.

I loved every moment of having our beautiful girl with us in our arms finally, but I was completely overwhelmed by her needs, particularly because of the colic/wind. I had had AND, which quickly progressed to PND and I thought I must have been doing something to cause my baby to be so unsettled (I even worried that my AND had badly affected her in utero) and that I wasn't being a good enough mother to her, and I became obsessed about "fixing" things so that my DD could be more comfortable and settled. But that's a whole other story.

So... my newborn experience was as close a definition as I can get to as bittersweet as I can think of, on reflection now. I would not change it for anything... but perhaps in hindsight and what I know now I would have been different in myself - I'm sure we could all say that! Who knows? We will see next time... if we are given the chance at bringing another miracle into the world as we hope and try. The fact that I want so much to have another child speaks wonders

[Jaycee]

Those first few weeks for me were filled with amazing highs and amazing lows.
No one told me that babies can get theirs days/nights mixed up and that it would take weeks for him to actually sleep at night. For the first probably 3 weeks, DH and I took 2 hours shifts all thru the night holding him on the lounge, DS wide awake, us trying desperately to stay awake, while the other got some much needed sleep!
No one told me I wouldn't eat a hot meal or drink a hot coffee for the first 3-6 months!
I remember driving around on xmas eve as it was the only way DS would sleep and stop crying, I was bawling my eyes out while DH drove, thinking to myself will this ever end? Of course it did and I do look back on those days quite fondly now, but at the time I wasn't so happy
Having said all that, there were quite a few times I remember cuddling DS and crying happy tears too, was a very surreal feeling thinking this little bubba was actually mine, I was very emotional at that time

[Heaven]

OMG I agree, it was pretty hellish. I had a very long labour, then c/s, then infection, and BF problems. I didn't expect to feel so bad physically. And I still had too look after a little baby, it was all too much. I remember thinking we'd made a mistake, we weren't ready for this, we couldn't do this on our own, etc etc. I found the first few months hard, then it got a little easier, and from around 6 months I've really been enjoying myself.

I also didn't know how long this lack of sleep would last, it's still going!! I expected a newborn not to sleep well but not an older baby, duh.

I'm scared of having #2 now!!

[Jennifer13]

At the risk of going against the norm (and having something thrown at my head...)...

I got so many horror stories before DD was born that I thought I wouldn't be getting any sleep and would be in a constant state of chaos for months.

And yet, after I brought her home (a day early, 'cause I was bored in hospital), with Mum to help me do the housework (DP didn't get any time off work), it was (dare I say it?) easy. My Mum commented that you wouldn't have even known there was a baby in the house most of the time. I got on with my normal life, just supplemented my sleep with one afternoon nap and didn't feel anything negative at all. I did the odd bit of work from home pretty much straight out of hospital.

I realise I'm very lucky, but I often feel like I'm walking around with a very guilty secret. I couldn't talk about my baby much or how I was doing with her until I had 'trouble' (mastitis multiple times, but not until 6 wks, several months, 6 mths, etc). All mums and bubs are different. (Which is why I'm not expecting it to necessarily be the same with #2!).

I'll go and hide under a chair now...!