:yeahthat: GC has summed it up pretty well for me, too
After going through really traumatic IVF experiences (including an early loss), I was on this amazing high from the moment I had my DD in my arms, as it was only then when I actually felt that everything was going to be okay and that I could stop fearing that I was going to lose her... but then the hormones kicked in (as well as the sleep deprivation from extended 44 hr labour and then emergency c/s) despite the high. And I had PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) prior to being pregnant so for me the hormone rollercoaster after birth was like mega PMDD... And then the colic/wind started.
I loved every moment of having our beautiful girl with us in our arms finally, but I was completely overwhelmed by her needs, particularly because of the colic/wind. I had had AND, which quickly progressed to PND and I thought I must have been doing something to cause my baby to be so unsettled (I even worried that my AND had badly affected her in utero) and that I wasn't being a good enough mother to her, and I became obsessed about "fixing" things so that my DD could be more comfortable and settled. But that's a whole other story.
So... my newborn experience was as close a definition as I can get to as bittersweet as I can think of, on reflection now. I would not change it for anything... but perhaps in hindsight and what I know now I would have been different in myself - I'm sure we could all say that!Who knows? We will see next time... if we are given the chance at bringing another miracle into the world as we hope and try. The fact that I want so much to have another child speaks wonders
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