Hi Danni,
You've probably heard more than enough re dummies but I'll add anyway!
I too, was an avid anti-dummy mum-to-be. Someone had given me a couple as baby shower gift and I remember being a bit angry that they would presume I was going to be using them - no way says the naive pg woman. Well, it all changes when your baby cries all day and won't settle or sleep unless on the breast. For the first 2mths I accepted being a human dummy, thinking Logan would "grow out of it" soon. However, It did all become to much for me and hunted out the dummies I'd almost thrown away.
I wouldn't say they have been a miracle for his sleep and unsettled issues but they have certainly helped and defnitely give him comfort that no amount of patting,rocking etc seemed to offer
I also don't really agree with "they won't know what they are missing". Some baies have a very high need to suck and unless you are prepared to have them on the breast 24/7 then witholding the dummy may actually be depriving the child of that need.
I still feel some guilt every time I use it but i can also see how much it soothes my DS so am slowly forgiving myself. I am hoping to gradually reduce the use to just for sleep.
I won't remove it completely until he is ready and have heard of plenty of "gentle" ways to break the need.
ATM he is exploring the finger/thumbsucking and I wouldn't have a real problem if he chose that but the fingers just don't seem to comfort him like the dummy. Plus i do see the positives about being able to throw the dummy away. Can't turf the thumb!
My brother has two girls. the eldest not offered dummy ( new parents/anti-dummy) but took to her thumb - she still sucks it at age 7. The younger girl was given dummy to help settle as she had reflux etc (like my DS). Dummy was in the bin by 12mths of age without much fuss and no residual "habit" to break.
So, in short, there are pros and cons to all the baby "aids". I agree with your decision to try and avoid the dummy but I have also now discovered that there are so many stresses as a new mum, this is not one to become to get caught up with.