it is pretty difficult, especially with not help, or very little help.

If you can't/don't get an au pair, then you will have to prioritise what you can do. At the top of that list is always you, then your kids. Everything else falls somewhere further down. Honestly, don't worry about the house not being 100%, its really not that important. Vacuuming and mopping the floors *can* wait. Sometimes if Ryan has just gone to sleep and I need to vac the carpet, I will actually use a dustpan and brush, and firmly brush the carpets. Great exercise for the arms, and its quiet so kids stay asleep.

I try to cook big meals so that some can go in the fridge/freezer for the next day or few. Keep a supply of cooked rice in the fridge (cooked white rice keeps well, just fluff it up as it cools so it doesn't stick together too much), it does save time when you realise there is not a lot for dinner (and makes a good lunch for you mixed with a small can of tuna or something like that).

Probably also try to do a small load of washing each day and get it hung out. If its clean and dry, then there's always something to wear, even if it is in a big pile on the couch! If you have clothes that need to be ironed (except office work shirts, this doesn't really work with them), smooth each item firmly and flatly as soon as you can after the machine finishing. Just use your hands, and 'brush' with your hands as if you were brushing fluff off the clothes. I do this on top of my washing machine. Fold and put in the basket, then hang up to dry. Doing this, I no longer have to iron the Man's work clothes. Even though he works on cars all day, he would like his polo shirt and jeans ironed. It really does work on jeans. I have just started doing it on the kids clothes, and they come up fabulous. Sorry, that was a lot of talking on laundry! It just means I don't have to get the iron out with two little kids under my feet.

Get your husband to train his brother on the nappy changing. Give him a doll or teddy bear to practice on. Make him do it.

Maybe just get a cleaner in once a week to do the housework for you if possible, it would be a lot cheaper than an au pair, but it really depends on how things go. My Man wasn't a whole lot of help (but sometimes he was a huge help), so I have to do pretty much everything on my own. Just me and the two little ones. My Mum thinks I am a zombie.

Anyway, it is possible, but don't feel put off, or upset if you can't get it to happen. My house is a mess even though my Man is here, and I wish it wasn't, but I know it will get there.