The thumb vs the dummy - what's your opinion?

[Jac]

I find it terribly judgemental to comment like that on the dummy use practices of people RH, it sounds very much like something I would have said before I used one though (actually I used to say that only lazy mothers used dummies). Sounds like the same kind of judgements that mothers have to endure with regards to everything, solids, breastfeeding, controlled crying, child harnesses.

I agree Shannon. Why do people have to be so opinionated about how other people choose to raise their children? Aren't we better to concern ourselves with our own parenting while keeping in mind that most people do their best to raise their children whilst using the tools that they find helpful. Dummies are unlikely to permanently hinder a child's development after all, particularly if used (like everything) in moderation. Even if used to excess (and whilst not ideal), it would most likely only have short term effects on speech and oral motor development. I can find far greater things to be concerned about in parenting than dummy use/misuse.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Oh, for crying out loud!

Shannon, you clearly feel judged because you don't like dummies - I never judged you.

I have used a dummy on the odd occasion - usually in the pushchair. At home DS had my finger to suck. Dummies are not all bad, I just prefer the thumb.

I said I dislike dummy misuse. I have seen toddlers need reminding a dummy comes out so food can go in. That is overuse and misuse of a dummy.

I also said I know people here don't misuse dummies, but after seeing misuse I dislike them - my inlaws think babies should have dummies 24/7 because SiL did that with Niece. We are polar opposites parents; no big deal, both children seem happy with life. I don't judge her parenting, just commenting that we both do the opposite to each other (I believe happy mummy = happy baby, so it doesn't matter if you control cry, formula feed, dummy use, use disposable nappies, hire a nanny full-time... just because I don't doesn't make your choice wrong for you). But I do disagree with constant dummy use, especially when MiL was amazed DS can make words his older cousin can't - she would just point and grunt.

It is an opinion, not a judgement. I dislike misuse of anything, including some of my parenting choices. I know I could easily misuse some of the things I do, so do my best not to - and not to start something I can see would end in misuse (I know I would misuse control crying and smacking, so I am not going to use those - not that I wanted to, but just saying). I decided no more dummies when I gave one to DS, he spat it out content a minute later and MiL tried to shove it back in because "that's what you do with babies." No more dummies as DH wants MiL to look after DS one day a week when I'm back at work. They were great for the odd occasion, but not the way the in-laws use them. That's why I prefer a thumb.

As I said, opinion not judgement. And I know dummy abuse is not rife on BB, but that doesn't mean it isn't in the rest of the world.

We were asked for our opinions, so I'm not telling anyone how to raise their child, I just get flack for explaining why. Thanks girls.

[Jennifer13]

It's a relatively common practice in some north african cultures too Jennifer, and girls of any age do it if they're caring for an infant and it's fretful. It means that by the time many girls give birth they already know concretely how to breastfeed from comforting younger siblings/relatives that way.

I never thought of it that way, Hoobley! And yet to think if it happened here ppl would be horrified.

RH, hope you still feel like it's okay to share your opinion. {Hugs}

[Ezz]

Calvin started sucking his fingers within minutes of being born (we assume he was doing this in utero). We gave him a dummy as soon as he got home from hospital - mostly for sleeps. As others have said, I was hoping to prevent hand- sucking. To avoid the problem of the dummy falling out and waking him up, I give it to him to settle just before or just after he falls asleep - while I'm still in the room to pat him if necessary. I don't know how this will work when he gets older - but I guess by then he will be able to find it for himself.