Melissa - my DS is a little younger than your DD but I do the 10.30pm dream fed which works most nights - I just pick him up, he stirs a little but usually goes back to sleep while drinking and finishes the bottle. If i don't offer it, i find he wakes for a feed around 3am. One of the girls in my Belly buddies said her little boy was waking for a few feeds so she offered him water in his bottle as opposed to milk. After a few nights when he realised he wasn't going to get what he was after, and it put a stop to the waking.
I also find that when DS has bad day sleeps, his night ones are bad too. I thought it would be the other way around because he was tired, but these babies do things just to confuse us i think! Maybe once she starts sleeping a day care, it may improve.. Not sure if any of this will help but good luck with it all