weaning, bed-sharing (or not!) + sleeping (or not!)

[nox]

Thanks ladies. I wish it were all more 'natural' you know?!

I will def try that book though. And there is some logic in the just go out and see strategy -- but I am so nervous! Maybe that is part of the problem?

My current logic is that I will wait until after this heat wave of course (45 degrees in Melbourne -- yay -- not!) and I would like to wait until he has passed 18mo. I have heard the sep anx lessens?

I have just noticed that he stays asleep longer when I put him down into our bed straight off -- as I have just done tonight -- whereas last night he had already woken a couple of times he has been asleep now for an hour. Maybe there is something in the amount of space he has in the cot?

I have tried milk then breast but he rejected the milk. It may be a situation of just not being there ...

[CrystalBoo]

Your post reminded me of two things. One, DD is 18m and I have noticed a massive jump in maturity, understanding and independence over the past month or so, so maybe your DS will also go through that soon. Two, with the milk thing, it's probably naughty, but as I was getting her used to a bottle, I would give it to her on her flip out sofa while she watched some tv, then BF in her room. That way, I wasn't near her when she had the cow's milk.

[nox]

Thanks CrystalBoo -- why was it important not to be near her with the cow's milk? It is very encouraging to hear that about the 18mo mark ... even if you are just saying that to make me feel hopeful!!! LOL it's worked!

[CrystalBoo]

She just wasn't interested in the bottle if I held her to give it to her in the same position as when I BF. I used the tv time because that is when she was most relaxed and more likely to stay in one place long enough to drink it.
And, no, I'm not fibbing about the 18m mark - the leap has been really noticeable to us. LOL Glad you feel a bit more encouraged.

[~Saram~]

We are currently having similar issues, hubby is very keen on DD being completely weaned by 2 (he has issues with extended BF)

Have you read the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantly - great stuff in their to break the feeding to sleep assosiation. I have just bought the toddler one but haven't had time to read it properly yet. I found once I stopped feeding Ari to sleep she stayed asleep longer and woke less often. Having said that we have regressed a little recently as she has had some unsettled nights.

I also put her into a single bed, so I can lie down with her comfortably but also get up and go back and have my own space.

Good luck, hope you find a solution that works for you

[nox]

Thanks Saram -- I am going to have a look at that. I have actually read a lot of it online already. The funny thing is that he doesn't (usually) feed to sleep during the day -- only night. Although today I just asked him how he would like to go to sleep for his nap and he pointed to our BF chair so I did because it's VERY VERY hot today so who can be bothered arguing?!

Last night, I fed him to sleep with a sippy bottle of cow's milk in his hand! Very cute he held on to it for ages even when falling asleep on the boob! But in the end, he slept from 730-430 with only a little wake and my husband was sleeping w him and settled him with a pat adn some water!

Let's hope for more of those!

Yes I think I will buy a bed -- twin or double. I took the sides off his cot yesterday and it just looks so unsafe -- the rail sits at the same height as the mattress and the whole things still seems high ...

[Artechim]

Hi Nox. I was in the same boat until very recently... DS was waking every couple of hours though the night and I was BF him back to sleep. However, I came to the conclusion that he wasn't going to outgrow it himself and so I have been working hard to get him to a point where he can self settle without needing to be fed back to sleep all night.

This is what I did:
Step 1: I fed him to sleep initially, but when he woke I would pat and delay feeding. I wouldn't let him feed to sleep. When he attached I would move to an angle so that it was hard for him to stay on the boob. He would fall off and whinge and reattach, but after a few attempts he would give up and go to sleep. After a few days he got to a point where he would feed for a few seconds before rolling away and going back to sleep by himself.
Step 2: When he woke up, I refused to BF him back to sleep at all - I would offer patting and shushing and if he still needed something I would give him a bottle of rice milk (apparently sweeter like breastmilk). Much to my surprise, he took the bottle and went to sleep. He wasn't entirely happy about it and whinged a bit (no crying though), I spent up to an hour patting/shushing/offering bottle instead until he got back to sleep himself.

So far this has taken two weeks and we are now at a point where he doesn't expect a BF during the night. The past few nights he has not even woken for it - last night he slept from 9pm-5am, he stirred a couple of times and I was able to shush him back to sleep.

I think it is definitely a prioity to break the feed to sleep association, after that he should start sleeping for longer periods.

Good luck, I know how frustrating it can be