I'll have to be brief hon as I've got to get moving so excuse the bullet point reply

- DD2 hated her arms out and it was a nightmare when I put her in Grobags. She had LOVED the Love To Swaddle bags and really liked her hands covered so I bought Sleepy Wings. Worked a treat but it was a little tough weaning her off them when she was rolling all the time. We did get there eventually though.

- DD2 didn't and still doesn't settle to sleep out in the lounge or in the company of others, lol. It has to be in her bedroom. This threw me as DD1 was the opposite! I fed her to sleep (breast then onto bottles) in the lounge, by the BBQ, etc every night until she no longer fed to sleep. She'd nod off happily with the noise, loved it. Anyway, I just took DD2's lead which was annoying but it worked - I moved my BF rocker to her room and fed her there. When she was in our room, I sat on our bed. I know how difficult it is to do that with a toddler to watch too but I just saved favourite DVDs or taped episodes of Play School and DD2 would be (and still is) happy and quiet while I settle/d DD2.

- DD2 totally regressed sleep wise at night (days were always good and still are) around 5 months and, dare I say it, slept terribly for about 3.5 months!! I couldn't work it out for the life of me but one thing I did learn about her in this period is she really needs to be held really tight to go to sleep. She fights it but I worked out she really loved it as just magically she'd be asleep - from screaming and flailing to BANG, sound asleep. I think her love of the swaddle and tight sleeping bags in the early days may have created this obsession. Anyway, something to try maybe?

- DD1 was crappy day sleeper until 6ish months so she slept in the sling during the day. I know you said that's not an option really but it worked so well for DD1, she practically lived in it. I personally find sling wearing not as practical while running around after a 2/3 year old so I'm thankful DD2 didn't need it.

- Is your DD teething? Have you tried Nurofen or panadol to see if she's in pain?

- does you DD have reflux? Both my girls did (DD2 still does) and it had a big effect on their sleep.

That's all I can think of for now. Will come back later if anything comes to mind. I had the opposite with my two girls when it came to sleep, one was crap during the day for awhile the other was a night, so I've tried a lot of tricks over the years.

Oh, and big hugs. I know it sucks at times