It also has alot to do with head control of the baby. A 4mth old who is 8 kg still does not have the strength to hold it's head up for long periods of time. If the baby was an a car accident the baby's head would be swung on its neck like one of those bobble headed dolls.
Sounds like she is unaware of the danger her child is in by being fwd facing so early. Definitely show her the youtube videos and explain to her the reasons behind why rear facing is so important. I'll be keeping dd rear facing for as long as possible!
People do these things thinking that they will NEVER be in an accident so it wont matter, baby will be fine. But if they get pulled over for a breatho etc they could still risk a fine if the police happen to notice a very young baby that is not restrained properly. Not only that, if they were ever in an accident, then they could void their insurance cover for the baby as well as the company could argue that they were not restrained properly, so they aren't covered under insurance. My SIL did the same thing - reckoned he would like it better if he was forward faced along with her own paranoia about not being able to see him so she turned him - didn't matter what anyone said about it because her mind was set. This may be the case with your situation too, but at least you know you tried and it is on their heads if anything ever happened.
It's not just the legality or safety that she should consider. I mean - when they're facing forwards in their seat, they are sitting upright and well, that can't be that comfortable for a not quite 4 month old could it?
I didn't turn my bub around until he was 7 months as I waited until he reach the recommended weight requirement to turn him around. Likewise if you have a bub who is bigger (than average) I would wait until they reached the recommended age befure turning them around.
If she's worried about not seeing bubs, she can buy a fisher price mirror that goes onto the back of the seat. It keeps him entertained, plus you can then use your rearvision mirror to see what he's up to.
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