What am I doing wrong?

[stillhoping]

Why is my nearly 4 month old screaming when he goes to bed for DH and I, but not when my mum puts him down. He only grizzles for her....

Anyone else had this happen? It is really quite upsetting.

[Trillian]

Is there anything that your Mum does different to what yourself and DH do? If she doesn't then maybe its just a case of him knowing that Nanna ain't going to put up with any carry on kwim? It's nothing that you've done wrong at all, its just that sometimes they know that if they cry you or their dad will pick them up, but if someone else does it, they don't complain, does that make sense? Also what are the circumstances where your Mum is putting him into bed, is he in different surroundings then?

[stillhoping]

Hi Sherie, no everything is the same. I make sure mum keeps him in the same routine. I can only think he doesn't want to leave us etc, but isn't fussed leaving other people. What do you think? We never used to give in and always settled him in his cot, but his crying is so bad now and it doesn't stop so we have to pick him up. I hope this phase stops soon

[~Kim~]

THat's exactly what I was going to say. He wants you guys but can take or leave anyone else.
It will stop soon. You aren't doing anything wrong.

[stillhoping]

thank you. As long as it will stop I can get through it.

[Lulu]

Is it all the time, or has it just happened once or twice?

[stillhoping]

when we put him to bed he screams more times than not. Mum has put him to bed three times in 2 days and all times very easily.

[Charlyfrog]

Yep, DD#2 was the same with my mum unbelievable! For us it only lasted maybe a week or so? But she has constantly gone in and out of phases of settling well and then not so well. It will pass but just let me encourage you to decide what you want your little ones bed time routine to be and then simply persist with it. We did give extra cuddles during these different phases but were always mindful that we didn't want DD to learn a new 'routine' iykwim? hth love

[Lulu]

Maybe it's still a fluke.
You know bubs really can feel your stress. My nephew falls almost straight to sleep with my Dp, he's more laid back than anyone I know.
Babies can be so hard sometimes, I know what you are going through. Maybe bribe your mum to come over as much as possible!

[stillhoping]

yep I know what you mean. We are always obsessing that he will get used to be picked up and want that all the time and never settle in his cot, when we worked so hard at getting him in there in the first place. Thanks for telling me it will pass. DH put him down tonight and I was getting stressed listening to him scream from the lounge room!!!

[Lulu]

Oh I'm so glad your partner is having a go at it too. I don't know what I would have done if Dp was'nt as supportive and patient (much more than I!). At least you can handpass him off to each other when the going gets tough.

I'm on #3, and I gotta tell you - don't stress about the "getting used to being picked up" thing. Really, they change their routines, get sick, teeth etc, that even if you have a "good" (oh how I hate that term) baby, it can all go out the window in a day or so anyway. It's so hard to keep a perfect environment for them to sleep.

I just pick 'em up. I'm not stressed, baby is happy - they are easier to get into routines when they are a little older anyway. I mean, I stick to a loose routine and my lot generally settled themselves along those habits in the end.

It is hard when your arms and back are sore, I often had to sit with my back to my kitchen so I couldn't see all the dishes that needed to be washed when feeding etc.
Anyway, look at your arms mummy - what baby wouldn't want to be snuggled and warm against you, safe and warm????

Hope tonight sees you all sleeping peacefully............and if not, know you are certainly not the only one pacing the floors in the middle of the night!

[DoubleK]

your not doing anything wrong at all!

like evryone has said, babies change their own routines all the time. im sure in time, the crying will lessen.

good luck with it, im sure a great mummy!

[stillhoping]

thanks everyone. Today going well so far. Just a small cry and with one rendition of a slow twinkle twinkle he was out. Hope he sleeps for a while. I kept him up for 2 hours so that might be the key. He may need more up time, although that doesn't always work!!!!! Why don't thinks work everytime!!!!

[Lulu]

Oh good news!

I'd more more inclined to think he needs more down time tho - keeping them up too much starts the overtired cycle....