At what age did you leave your baby/child to sleep on their own?

[Teeki]

I'm just curious, how old was your baby/child when you would start to just put them to bed, say goodnight and leave the room for them to go to sleep? My earliest memory of going to sleep is my Mum tucking me in to bed, saying goodnight and leaving. Sometimes Dad would sing a song with his guitar. But I was five in these memories, I don't know how early they were doing that.

And it made me wonder, when will I be doing that with DD? She still feeds to sleep. Sometimes now when she wakes she doesn't want a feed and is still drowsy in the cot so I just rub her belly until she's asleep. Except for two nights ago when I think I was annoying her more than anything so I stopped, she rolled over and I just sat on the bed watching her til she was asleep.

So her sleep needs are changing, but it just got me wondering at what age you start to just leave them to sleep? (Not that I mind the feeding and patting, I'll be doing it as long as she needs)

[Santosha]

DD was just over 2. She still wanted us there, but she really started to play up to try and get us to engage with her and us being there was ultimately keeping her awake as she couldn't help herself but to 'fish' for a reaction. We started doing 'rapid return' - going in and out quite quickly, then gradually spaced it out so we were away for longer periods. Now at 3.5 we go back in once after 5 minutes for a last kiss and cuddle and then we don't go back (except, of course, if she genuinely needs us and doesn't just have a terrible case of 'bumpy pillow, need a tissue, need another drink, need to ask you a question...) - she's still fishing!

[Maruschke]

DD was just over 2. She still wanted us there, but she really started to play up to try and get us to engage with her and us being there was ultimately keeping her awake as she couldn't help herself but to 'fish' for a reaction. We started doing 'rapid return' - going in and out quite quickly, then gradually spaced it out so we were away for longer periods. Now at 3.5 we go back in once after 5 minutes for a last kiss and cuddle and then we don't go back (except, of course, if she genuinely needs us and doesn't just have a terrible case of 'bumpy pillow, need a tissue, need another drink, need to ask you a question...) - she's still fishing!

Exactly that.

[Aussiegirl777]

From 6 months old my DS has gone into his cot and gone to sleep as soon as we put him down. In fact he probably did it even earlier in his bassinet but he was in our room then. Each night either DP or I, or sometimes both of us take him to bed. When it's me I put him to bed, cover him snuggly, tell him I love him and that I hope he has beautiful sweet dreams. I tell him that if he needs me I'm here and then I leave......and within minutes he's asleep.

(unless he is teething- then he is restless and may need me to go in for resettling)

[Lolpigs]

From 6 months old my DS has gone into his cot and gone to sleep as soon as we put him down. In fact he probably did it even earlier in his bassinet but he was in our room then. Each night either DP or I, or sometimes both of us take him to bed. When it's me I put him to bed, cover him snuggly, tell him I love him and that I hope he has beautiful sweet dreams. I tell him that if he needs me I'm here and then I leave......and within minutes he's asleep.

(unless he is teething- then he is restless and may need me to go in for resettling)

Hehe that is what we do

[onthefly]

DS was just over 2.
DD not yet.

Haven't done it with a newborn, but you can try lying down with both of them, feeding a newborn while sitting with older child, wearing newborn in a sling while helping older child to settle, etc.

[LimeSlice]

About 2.5 I think every other night, depending on how she felt, every night by 3 years.
TBH I would still be in there at the end of her bed I think if I didn't have to deal with feeding and settling DD2. DD1 still asks me to sit with her a while, but it is only a few minutes and then she is happy to fall asleep alone if she isn't already.

[MummyNaomi]

Haven't yet. DS is 3yrs 3 months and we read him two books (DH one, me the other) and then either one or both of us lay with him while he falls asleep. If we attempt to leave before he falls asleep he gets upset and calls us back, so we stay. I have no intention of changing this until he leads the change (and now we just bring DD into his room and she is now part of this routine). I love his sleepy cuddles as much as he wants us there, soon enough he'll be all grown up and wont need/want us there, but for now it works for all of us

[~Kim~]

DD1 was 3. I had a new baby and until then I had sat at the doorway until she fell asleep. One day I couldn't and she just did her own thang...presto.
DS is 3.5 and I still sit on the end of his bed until he is asleep. He actively requests it. Every. single. night....I get my emails read for the day lol.
DD2 is nearly 6months old. I've put her in her bed and she goes to sleep all by herself since she was 9 weeks old. Granted it's next to my bed but she prefers to be on her own.

[LuluHB]

DDs 1 and 2 shared a bed and they would have been 2.5 and 3.5 before we started leaving them when they were still awake

[black_rose]

Dd1 always did at night, during the day she was happy to cuddle to sleep but at night she would go straight to sleep on her own in the cot. Dd2 and ds had reflux so were a little bit older, dd2 was 4 months and ds was closer to 9 months. we always read stories and have lots of cuddles before bed even from the beginning so it just formed part of their routine.

[beckoes]

DD1 just turned 4 and i still do the same as i always have, read a book, cuddle, lay with her till she falls asleep, she doesnt take long. now we dd2 (16mo) we all lay in bed together. then i move dd1 to her bed ( a mattress on the floor by our bed) when they are asleep. i wish they would want to do this forever, but dont know if they will want mummy laying in bed with them when they are 10...or 12...0r 16....but i guess il just do it till they dont want to anymore.

[Teeki]

Each night either DP or I, or sometimes both of us take him to bed. When it's me I put him to bed, cover him snuggly, tell him I love him and that I hope he has beautiful sweet dreams. I tell him that if he needs me I'm here and then I leave......and within minutes he's asleep.

Aw that made my heart melt!

I find it fascinating how their needs change to the point where the put themselves to sleep easily, and how it happens differently for every child. It's amazing watching DD change, not so long ago she would *only* feed to sleep if she woke at night, and wouldn't have a bar of DH. Now if she's not hungry she'll let him rock her to sleep, and yeah, sometimes she just needs a pat! It's so different for me!

[fionas]

DD1 was a few months old - she was in our room but I could leave her to self-settle from a very early age, with no crying whatsoever.

DD2 is 2 and I cuddle her until she falls asleep. She still wakes during the night and we co-sleep from when she wakes up.

They are very different girls with very different needs so it's horses for courses here.

[Jakabella]

Well DD is 3.5 and goes to sleep alone during the day but DH or I sit with her at night and DS who is 1.5 still feeds and rocks to sleep = so I guess we dont! LOL

[Boo Boo]

DD was 18 months, DS - 2 years and DS2 who is 17 months is still rocked off....gosh I was just thinking tonight as it it took an hour of rocking, how long would I be doing this for.....

[Teeki]

So another question then, for those who have more than one child and the oldest still needed *something* to get to sleep - how do you do that with a newborn? DD feeds to sleep between sometime after 6, up until 8. Usually goes for an hour. But I remember that being cluster feeding time when she was tiny, so how on earth do you get number one to sleep when number two is so demanding?

[Jakabella]

My routine is I give DS his bottle on the couch while DD lays on the other couch with all the lights off but the TV on, She watches her tv shows while I feed DS to sleep. Once he is down I spend some time reading to DD or she reads with DH and then he takes her to bed and sits with her till she nods off. If he is out the I sit with her. Works so far!