Isn't it interesting that there is this pressure to come back out into the world, to be 'normal' again as quick as you can. Which is all well and good, but it does not have to be the only way. I have done this with my two previous children, up and out within a few days, and I KNOW that this contributed to the length of recovery, the feelings of being inadequate and totally connected to how unsettled my babies were. With this last babe, we actually kept her in our bedroom for two weeks, a majority of this time I spent in there with her, there were a few reasons for this, too many to list, but this really allowed me to sit in the quiet with her, find our rhythm and for her to come into the world nice and slowly without too much stimulation. Totally made possible by an incredible support system. FOr the older children they could continue their day to day living without having to be asked a gazillion times to be quiet, and also when they came in to see her, there is always that quiet sense when you go into the bedroom. This baby settled quicker then any baby I have had, she never cried for hours on end like the first two with that unexplained colic cry. But for me, I had no time constraints, no need to hurry and get somewhere, and I was able to truly be there in the moment and get to know our rhythm. But also, i was no tempted to get up and do stuff as I couldn't see what was going on out there haha! THis experience has been so wonderful for our family and our extended family to see how birth does not have to be a certain way. Most people in my past have offered to come and hold the baby so I can get my jobs done, and now we have them come to do the jobs so I can sit and stare at my baby, and be with her. Funny how we see it as a challenge to ask for that to happen. Newborn time is so small compared to our lives, like a dot in the timeline of life, and having the support and vision to be able to do this has certainly attributed to an easy transition into a family of five.
If you feel that the above is too much for you to do, look at what things you can ask of people when they offer help. A meal is ALWAYS a winner, better then a bonds suit or toys, so when they ask what they can get, a meal a meal!!! When people come to visit, let them get you a cuppa, I have friends who have labelled their kitchen cupboards so guests can come in and help themselves to tea coffee etc!
Anyway, lets encourage the new mummas to be with their bubs if that is the impulse they feel... And when my mother was struggling with us not handing the new baby around for cuddles, I needed the reminder from my close friends about our vision of keeping her close to us during the babymoon, there will be plenty of time for them to be passed around with time!