Thanks for the replies and especially your insight Ladybirdflies. Now I want a babymoon. I didn't get one like you've all described - often due to my own pride at thinking that I should have been able to "do it all" and feeling ashamed to allow people to visit me and help because my house was a bomb site. But one thing I was happy about was one of my friends unexpectedly pulling up outside my house, sitting in her car and ringing me to see if I was home and then just walking in the door, sending me to bed (DD was asleep) and not taking no for an answer - she did the dishes, some washing and some tidying up. At the time I felt totally judged for having a trashy house but now I see that she was only trying to help me. If I have another bub I'm gonna ask for and accept all the help I get, and realise that it's just that - help, not judgment.