For the last few nights Chelsea has been getting harder to get to bed. When she knows its bed time she becomes really hard to handle, she starts chucking tantrums, running away from me, throwing things and telling me she doesnt want to go to bed. So i put Jasmine to bed (and Chelsea helps) then we go into her room and we read a book, give her the dummy, her toy, tuck her in, kisses, love yous etc.....
I turn off the main light and shut her door again saying Goodnight Chelsea, Mummy loves you and ill see you in the morning.
Then it begins.....
Screaming, throwing things at the door, knocking on the door, kicking the walls.
I leave her for a little bit then go into her room and repeat it all over again (minus the book reading). It happens again and again.
Finally after a few attempts i go into her room and lay with her in bed. I ask her whats wrong and she ALWAYS says Tell bubby zoucy (Zachery) to go away
is that meant to mean?
Is this why she is refusing to go to bed....all because of him? Ive never had this problem before, not until now. It breaks my heart when she says it.
She has also taken to turning her small light on every night and i have to go into her room and turn it off (and hope) i dont wake her once she is asleep.
how do i fix this 'bubby' problem...and the light issue too
Do you think she might be feeling a little neglected? Like Zoucy has taken her mummy time and it has just caught up with her? Toddler-baby jealousy is very common and I imagine with the three littlies it's probblay hard keeping on your ntoes with all of them!
I am sure you are doing a wonderful superwoman job (AS ALWAYS!!!) but maybe you can implement something else that makes Chelsea feel special during the day?
I involve her as much as possible helping with Zachery. She often feeds him, always helps with nappy changes, making his bottle, helps me put him to bed etc.
I give her one on one time through the day, story time is our night time 'together'.
Oh Kimmoi! You are not doing anything wrong at all. Wanting the baby to bugger off is totally normal.
This behaviour is also normal -
Putting stamps all over baby so the postie will send him away.
Asking grandma to take the baby to her house.
Sitting on the baby, taking toys away from baby.
Declaring I HATE the baby.
You know all kids are different by now , and if children can be considered 'vessels', some of them just need more filling up iykwim?
My eldest was quite happy to play and draw quietly.
DS on the other hand needs to be keep occupied ALL DAY or there is hell to pay later.
Am I right in thinking she is a bit of a monkey? The good news is that it does get better as they get older. DS is past the age of (some!) frustration, he loves building stuff and that fills him up. I also need to be on the ball and quickly give him a new activity, because when this kid is bored......
The bedtime routine sounds fine, she is just pushing your buttons when she says rotten things about Z, so don't react, or smile and say how much fun he will be when he is older.
Some kids regress with dummies and betwetting when a new baby comes along, Chelsea is putting on a new bedtime routine for you. Maybe stay with her a touch longer and sit on the end of the bed stroking her hair (and not talking).
It makes a big difference to DS if I get DD down first, then let him stay up a little bit longer "because he is a little bit older/bigger". We have cuddles on the couch just to two of us and chat or do a quick puzzle and this fills him up too.
Really, its normal and C is a clever little thing that can read her parents like a book...
Similar thing happend here too Kim - not so much the going to sleep routine, that was fine, but DD started waking during the night after her brother arrived and she was 2.5 so this was something she hadn't done since she was a baby herself. We also gave her a nightlight and after stressing about it being on, now it's just part of the routine. We got one of those wall night lights from Ikea (she has the pink flower one) it's not too bright and she sleeps just fine with it on.
At the time DD never said anything negative at all about her baby brother, she played with him, cuddled and kissed him and seemed quite happy he was here. It is only on looking back now that we can see the night waking must have been her reaction to it all.
It continued for a few months and then stopped, so hang in there... this too shall pass. It's just a transition stage as she gets used to her baby brother being around.
Last edited by Willow; April 28th, 2009 at 10:46 AM.
Is Zachery still up when you are trying to put Chelsea to bed? We had this problem with Tori when Liam was just a baby, she would do her nut if we tried to put her to bed and he was still up- so I used to get DH to take Liam into his room and pretend to put him to bed, and then once we had Tori in her room ready for bed, we would bring Liam back out. We only needed to do it for a little while and she got over it, I think she got it into her head that she was missing out on something by having to go to bed.
Lulu you are spot on with Chelsea being a monkey....a high energy always on the go kinda kid! Ill try staying with her a bit longer of a night.
Willow, Chelsea loves her brother day and night....always asks about him and where he is..its just once she goes to bed she doesnt want him anymore..LOL
Ali, generally Zachery is in bed when she goes to bed and about 30 mins later he gets up for his last feed and i try to be as quite as possible. I generally change and feed him in our room which is at the opposite end to her room.
Im hoping its a phase. Things were going well until this week. Yes we have had our ups and downs. I cut out day naps but she was harder to get to bed at night, so bought them back. Some days she just lays there in bed, sometimes she sleeps.
Ill keep at it and im sure missy will be back to normal soon!
You need to give her special one on one time when he is asleep during the day. Now that the novelty of her new baby brother has worn off she's probably feeling a bit over it.
I'm going through it with Caleb and I also went through it with Angus when Caleb was born.
Do some fun stuff like painting, drawing, playing with a ball outside or my personal favourite big guns...baking cookies! Caleb loves it But I save the cookies for particularly bad days otherwise we'd be baking every day lol.
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What could this mean?
is that meant to mean?
how do i fix this 'bubby' problem...and the light issue too
, and if children can be considered 'vessels', some of them just need more filling up iykwim?
The good news is that it does get better as they get older. DS is past the age of (some!) frustration, he loves building stuff and that fills him up. I also need to be on the ball and quickly give him a new activity, because when this kid is bored......
But I save the cookies for particularly bad days otherwise we'd be baking every day lol.
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