What does everyone think about those toddler harnesses?

[MantaRay]

Jodie, that was a great post. I think that's a good point you make that being isolated at home is not a good option, so whatever enables you to get out with the kids safely has to be a good thing. I didn't realise until I had two kids just how easily one can distract you from the other. Anyone who thinks "that wouldn't happen to me" is kidding themselves. I am very lucky that Jack will stay put when I ask him to, but if he didn't it would be nearly impossible just getting them both into and out of the car, let alone doing anything else. And even now I am terrified that one day he won't. I was just giving advice on this to a mum at day care this morning who is unsure how to get both kids out of the car once the baby has outgrown the capsule as her older one is a bolter.

[kungfubecca]

You guys actually make some good pros on the harnesses, but I have to admit I have never liked them. Even when I was a child I remember seeing kids wearing harnesses and didn't like them.
But then one thing you learn as a mum is you gotta do what you gotta do.

I do think the monkey backpack ones are cute though.

[Rouge]

Yeah I don't like them either. I have a runner here too but I can't bare the thought of putting him in one. The backpacks I think are cute but I don't think I'd use one. Shannon I think we've always done similar to you.

But that is not to say I have anything against those that do, for me its just not something I feel comfortable with. Luckily Seth is starting to really understand how to be safe, and we have a "hands on the car" rule when he gets out of the car and generally he still is in a pram anyway. But he knows if he wants to walk he has to hold my hand otherwise I carry him or we go back tot he car/home or sit down till he is ready to cooperate. I am just lucky I guess.

[{sarah}]

Same here with the hands on the car rule Zander will hop out of the car now & say "hands on mummy's car" and will ask to hold my hand when we're near cars. We also do the sit down trick until he's ready to co-operate, sometimes it involves a tantrum, other times he calms down & then holds hands happily again.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I actually agree re: how harnesses look - I still hate the look of them! But most of my friends have babies or are pregnant now, my family lives far away and the PiL aren't interested in our little family, and DH works stupidly long hours so I can't have a 2-person rule when we go out just so someone can keep an eye on DS and the other can (for example) shop. I'd want to let DS not need one and want to be near me and hold my hand, but if that isn't happening then I'm going to put him in a harness just because there are worse things in this world than a harness - him being snatched, run over, injured needing hospitalisation...

[muggle]

Tried the go home when we misbehavied approach but all it did was teach my son that misbehaving got him what he wanted - to go home. So we have a monkey style harness except ours is a horse.

I place much more importance on my sons safety than the way someone else who is obviously a far superior parent than myself thinks.

[soul]

muggle I totally agree. If we all worried about what other thought, we would never feel confident on how we parent. So if some feel happy having a harnest on there child, yay Just dont put a buggy on the end of them lmao and aks them to nay for you!

When I see someone with one on there child I instantly think "Proctection" not negative. Shopping malls arnt suppose to be for children to run a riot in, go to a park instead! And no one knows anything about that chilkd on the harnest, they could be a handful for the mother, they could be very hyerpactive, they could be clumsy,,, so many reasons could be behind the wearing of that harnest. That is why I do not judge when I see it on a child. I am very lucky I have not needed to use one yet.

[Rouge]

Like you soul I don't judge others, nor do I compare myself to others parenting styles so luckily for me I don't think myself or joe blow down the road any more or less superior than myself. Because if I were to do that, I might question how unsafe I was as a parent, which thankfully I don't.

I think if it works for you go for it. Its not like its going to harm anyone.

[Phteven]

It's funny that this thread should have come up now because today (after a nightmare trip to the post office) I hit the point where I had to acknowledge that I have to put the boys in harnesses because otherwise I just can't keep them safe anymore.
Up until now I've only used one travelling but Imran is getting speedier by the day so now I have not one but two bolters!! The little monkeys don't even take off in the same direction - they both run off in opposite directions!!
I don't have the luxury of being able to get DH to help (he does his best but he's often to busy) and when I need to get paper-work filed by a deadline I can't just go home.
I guess I need to go shopping tomorrow *shudders at the thought*

[shellbell3]

Years ago before I had any experience with children I used to think they were awful and would comment to myself that the children are being treated like dogs etc etc. Since having looked after toddlers who have had a habit of just suddenly making a mad dash I totally see the great use for them. If Ash turns out to be a bolter I'll have no worries using one.
I know we can try teach our children to hold hands or things like that but they can be so unpredictable and something catch's there eye and suddenly off they go without warning.
My nephew was a bolter and actually ran off onto a road once suddenly, just let go of my hand and dashed off. Luckily no cars were around.

[soul]

Um Cailin it wasn't me who said that about being more superior than others, it was actually muggle. I was agreeing on her about not worrying about what others think compared to the childs saftey. HE HE HE but its nice to know you agree with me!

[Rouge]

I was agreeing with you... I think its time to hang up my keyboard... for everything seems to be misinterpreted atm. And yes I know what muggle posted.

[soul]

I felt the exact same. I just didnt want to take credit for what muggles said thats all. How are you taking offense to that? I think we are so not there in sink thats all. Perhaps we start again.

Yes cailin I agree too. er, we both are wonderful parents, yes!!!! lol Not sure what else to say. Everything I just said was being nice, so was above I just didnt wnat to take credit for saying it thats al

[~clover~]

Just wanted to point something out to everyone. If you look these harnesses up on ebay there is one currently on there advertised with the heading
'TODDLER HARNESS OR DOG LEASH!'
They are using the dog leash thing as a selling point which tells me that some people just don't care. If people think thats what they look like then so what?? I first saw one when I was 5 or 6 & the dog leash thing never entered my mind. Never has. I honestly just don't see it. Dog leads til recently had a collar & go around a dogs neck. I've never seen a child with a collar on! The way I see it the dog harness came from seeing toddler harnesses, not the other way around. & two year old childern are not more sensible or street wise than a dog. Someone reffered to this with comparing humans to dogs. Sure the dog goes out of its way to chase the car, it doesn't see it as danger & neither does a small child. They might not chase the car, but they don't understand the consequences of their actions yet. Unless they learn for themselves & I don't think we want them to learn these things in this way.
I don't see why this is so frowned upon. We strap them in to a car seat, a pram & a trolley, we put gates up in our houses & lock them inside to keep them safe. Yet when they are out of their homes in what can be a very dangerous place we are expected to let them run free & hope nothing happens?? Do these people also see a play pen out side as a dog yard???

[SSmiles]

Personally I don't see a problem in the harnesses at all. I think if it keeps your little angel safe then it's all good. I would get one for my DS...actually, now that he's walking I will! I have heard people say that they remind them of a dog lead/harness but what's wrong with that!? People love their dogs and that's why they keep them safe. Just my opinion anyway.

[Ambah]

I don't have a problem with them either... I would much rather have the extra reassurance that Aidyn won't break free from my hand and run onto the road.
I used to use one every week when walking through the CBD with Aidyn on my way to meet DP before uni, and also on occasions when we have caught the train... I wouldn't feel safe with just using my hand, and taking a pram on a bus was so much of a struggle - especially when Aidyn wanted to walk.
When there is traffic everywhere, and you have to cross multiple roads, and crowds of people around, I would much rather have him in a harness than not.

Mind you, I always did feel self conscious using one, as if people were judging me. And I always kept a sharp reply on the tip of my tongue if anyone did dare comment.
But what I got instead was on nearly every single outing I would be approached by a mother asking me where on earth did I get such a fantastic harness (it was the monkey backpack one)... so I felt good that I could share the info with them.
I would always hold Aidyn's hand at the same time as the monkey tail... so 1. it didn't look like I was walking a dog. and 2. Aidyn learnt how important it was to hold onto Mummy's hand. And now at the age of 3.5 he certainly doesn't need it anymore and will hold my hand without risk of bolting.

[blueflower]

I used to be totally against them. I would frown on the parents using them.
Since being a mother and having friends with toddlers, I see that they are really a good idea and a good aid.

I was in newcastle yesterday and saw a toddler with one, only his grandparents were on the other end, and it did make sence, they we baby sitting for the day, and we quite elderly, so wouldn't be able to run after him. It was more for his safetly than not being to control the child.

[muggle]

Soul, sorry for the mix up I seemed to have caused you but you got my post.

As long as my son is safe as far as I am concerned I am being a brilliant parent, the fact that my parenting methods may not agree with someonelse's sensibilities and they may think less of my parenting skills is their opinion alone. It does not in any way make me a bad parent or affect the confidence I have in the decisions I have made being correct for my child.