What makes a good parent?

[paradise lost]

Jodi, I logically know that. I do. But emotionally, I do not love Alexander. He is not my child. He is just a hindrance to my personality and my life. And those are horrible thoughts but they are all that I feel right now. It is something I wish that I could change and make go away, and it is, very slowly getting better. And as I said, in the healthy part of my mind, I know the things I do are love, but that doesn't make me love him? Feel love for him, or realise that what i am doing is an act of love KWIM?
Sorry I know it doesn't make sense, but I can't explain any better.

It makes perfect sense to me hun. Most people, in fact, manage to care adequately for their kids due to loving them. It takes real iron to care for them out of duty rather than love. FWIW i have never been dx with PND but during the early months and break-up i fairly regularly looked at DD and just saw this huge millstone around my neck. If it weren't for you, i used to think, i could be rid of XP and out of here and never have to look back. I didn't wish she was dead, but i did think that if she died i would be free on more than one occasion. And i really don't think i COULD have bonded better at birth or had a better start with her - the strain of the whole situation after her birth was just too much. Once i was out of my miserable situation things improved drastically. I know your PND is much more serious than that but it WILL get better hun. I can't believe you've managed not only to care for your DS but are also getting help for yourself too. Kudos hunny, my touch of depression felt like 10 mountains to climb, i can't imagine your strength to be doing what you are.

Bx

[sleepless in tas]

All i can say is we should all be made saints! Just reading all the posts and everything we have to deal with is just amazing when you read it! How we manage to keep going day in and day out is beyond me! From what I've read - we ALL are doing pretty damm good jobs! xoxox

[fionas]

I think what makes a good mum/parent is just the willingness to ask the question in the first place and to listen to the respnses!

[maz]

hmmmmm

Loving your child would have to be IMO one of the first things we feel for our children...from the moment we find out we get our first BFP to the first kicks and then finaslly watching that person we created grown into a beautiful person. Love makes a great parent becuase love ties our emotions and actions to look, care and motivate ourselves to strive for the best for our children.

Cookie - im a little confussed by you saying you dont love you son.....I have seen you with him and the love ozzed between the two of you...and also if you feel you dont love your child why would you have considered having another?

Love is more then words........love is an action that comes without thinking

[LucaJack'sMum]

Lots of kisses and cuddles and patience.... and quality time...