Hmmm ok, having a toddler that screams the house down most days () I think I would be worried if my neighbours came along - completely out of the blue - and brought along something, I think personally, it would make me feel like I was a bad mum and that they were coming "to check up on me".
ONLY if I didn't know them very well of course, and it was just after a bout of screaming or something!!!!
But I think it would be nice if you went over and introduced yourself (as you are obviously pregnant yourself) and see if she invites you in for a coffee or whatever. Then maybe next time, bring something. JMO of course!!!!!
You can always come and bring me chocolate of course.. pmsl!!!!
I wouldn't offer to help just yet. i know from experience that babies and toddlers can cry for no reason for days on end. she might not be that stressed about it.
I would make friends with her and the partner. in the long run it will be good for you both to have someone to chat to. maybe invite them over for a casual BBQ or afternoon tea.
If one of my neighbours suddenly showed up offering help I would be a bit concerned that they thought I wasn't doing a good job parenting.
Maybe you can start small by offering to do some shopping for her while you do yours.
It can be dreadful doing the shopping with children and offering to do a chore can take some of the pressure off without nessescarily suggesting that you think she's having a hard time. If someone wanted to take a list and some cash and bring my groceries home I'd be pretty happy to have that chore taken care of.
Personally, I would take some cake or something over. I would approach it along the lines of "I notice that like me you are home during the day and thought that maybe we both use some company - feel like some morning tea with me?". Then as you are chatting you could talk about how she is finding it home with kids etc from the guise of not being sure what you are in for etc. I think if you are really subtle about it, it shouldn't offend at all. And you might both become good friends and be able to help each other. I know that when I was home with two boys, my neighbour who came over and introduced herself the first week we were there became a God send. We have both moved since and are still great friends. She was home with two boys too, so not quite the same but still.
Wow if it happened to me, I would hand over the screaming child & jump in the shower
Maybe after our second morning tea. Any chance you live in Brissy near me??
TBH I used to get really stressed when Matilda screamed for hours upon hours and it was hard when Jovie was refluxy and I was with 2 kids at home. It really put me down because I was trying so hard & they both would still scream. So maybe offering some morning tea & a hand would be nice. Sometimes mum's are possessive of handing over screaming babies (quite irrationally) because of protective instincts, so maybe occupying the older child will help heaps.
I agree, don't jump in and offer to help with the kids, I think she'd be offended, I know I would have been. There were some really, really hard days when I first brought DS home and was trying to find my feet juggling both and if a neighbour came knocking on my door, I would have been pretty devastated. I wasn't feeling the best about things but I just needed to hide away and figure it out on my own iykwim? My biggest fear was that people would see me 'not coping'.
Start by offering some company and friendship, the rest can come later.
I was about to say what Willow just said! I know I'd just prefer someone to offer to keep me company occasionally. It helps keep you sane when all you do is run after around kids all day. I'm sure she will appreciate that you care .
OMG! I can't see anything wrong with introducing yourself to a new neighbour! Its a first step, to what could be a lovely friendship.
Geez, I wouldnt give a rats if anyone came over concerned about my parenting. Kids are loud - babies cry. If you came over concerned I wasn't coping and offered a hand (esp when preg), I'd be pleased someone even cared (instead of muttering under their breath for e.g), and if you brought me chocolate we'd be friends forever.
Only one thing, maybe the first time have a chat on the doorstep with her....if her house is all untidy she may feel uncomfortable about inviting you in (or still being in her PJs!), a wave every so often and then you can charge in later and say "gimme the baby, get in the shower"!
It all depends on how you come across I suppose, big smile Leasha!
I agree with Willow. We live on top of a hill and the whole street can hear my kids when they're cracking it....they'd hear every single tantrum I reckon. I'd die if one of the neighbours came over and offered to help with them I'd totally see through that. But company is different, less threatening I think.
I think you should just go over and introduce yourself, they are your new neighbours after all.
Just mention if she needs anything youd be glad to help, gone are the good old days of when our grandparents and parents knew all the neighbours (in my area anyway)
) I think I would be worried if my neighbours came along - completely out of the blue - and brought along something, I think personally, it would make me feel like I was a bad mum and that they were coming "to check up on me".
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