I have new neighbours, who have a baby and a toddler. They moved in about 2 weeks ago. Her partner (I assume its her partner anyway...) goes to work during the day and she stays home with the two young ones. Most days all I seem to hear is the baby crying and sounding extremely distressed, and I can only imagine what the mum is going through dealing with her bub and toddler by herself.
I am at home most days, just resting and I feel like sometimes I should go over and take her chocolate or make her a coffee or do some washing for her or something...
But then, our old neighbours had two young kids who used to wander up to our place regularly and let themselves in our front door! I used to take the back home, and one day I offered to watch them while she was doing whatever she was doing (it scared me thinking these young kids would just let themselves into my house... what if they went and let themselves into a peadophiles house?!?!?!) and she got offended and accused me calling her a bad mum...
So I don't want to offend our new neighbours...
Would you be offended? Would you prefer to be left alone? I don't really know how I'd react... Would you appreciate a neighbour bringing over some morning tea? I haven't really met her, except when a little kitten was playing in my front yard and I went over to see if it was theres (they had just moved in).
Hmmm ok, having a toddler that screams the house down most days () I think I would be worried if my neighbours came along - completely out of the blue - and brought along something, I think personally, it would make me feel like I was a bad mum and that they were coming "to check up on me".
ONLY if I didn't know them very well of course, and it was just after a bout of screaming or something!!!!
But I think it would be nice if you went over and introduced yourself (as you are obviously pregnant yourself) and see if she invites you in for a coffee or whatever. Then maybe next time, bring something. JMO of course!!!!!
You can always come and bring me chocolate of course.. pmsl!!!!
I wouldn't offer to help just yet. i know from experience that babies and toddlers can cry for no reason for days on end. she might not be that stressed about it.
I would make friends with her and the partner. in the long run it will be good for you both to have someone to chat to. maybe invite them over for a casual BBQ or afternoon tea.
If one of my neighbours suddenly showed up offering help I would be a bit concerned that they thought I wasn't doing a good job parenting.
Maybe you can start small by offering to do some shopping for her while you do yours.
It can be dreadful doing the shopping with children and offering to do a chore can take some of the pressure off without nessescarily suggesting that you think she's having a hard time. If someone wanted to take a list and some cash and bring my groceries home I'd be pretty happy to have that chore taken care of.
Personally, I would take some cake or something over. I would approach it along the lines of "I notice that like me you are home during the day and thought that maybe we both use some company - feel like some morning tea with me?". Then as you are chatting you could talk about how she is finding it home with kids etc from the guise of not being sure what you are in for etc. I think if you are really subtle about it, it shouldn't offend at all. And you might both become good friends and be able to help each other. I know that when I was home with two boys, my neighbour who came over and introduced herself the first week we were there became a God send. We have both moved since and are still great friends. She was home with two boys too, so not quite the same but still.
Wow if it happened to me, I would hand over the screaming child & jump in the shower
Maybe after our second morning tea. Any chance you live in Brissy near me??
TBH I used to get really stressed when Matilda screamed for hours upon hours and it was hard when Jovie was refluxy and I was with 2 kids at home. It really put me down because I was trying so hard & they both would still scream. So maybe offering some morning tea & a hand would be nice. Sometimes mum's are possessive of handing over screaming babies (quite irrationally) because of protective instincts, so maybe occupying the older child will help heaps.
I agree, don't jump in and offer to help with the kids, I think she'd be offended, I know I would have been. There were some really, really hard days when I first brought DS home and was trying to find my feet juggling both and if a neighbour came knocking on my door, I would have been pretty devastated. I wasn't feeling the best about things but I just needed to hide away and figure it out on my own iykwim? My biggest fear was that people would see me 'not coping'.
Start by offering some company and friendship, the rest can come later.
I was about to say what Willow just said! I know I'd just prefer someone to offer to keep me company occasionally. It helps keep you sane when all you do is run after around kids all day. I'm sure she will appreciate that you care .
OMG! I can't see anything wrong with introducing yourself to a new neighbour! Its a first step, to what could be a lovely friendship.
Geez, I wouldnt give a rats if anyone came over concerned about my parenting. Kids are loud - babies cry. If you came over concerned I wasn't coping and offered a hand (esp when preg), I'd be pleased someone even cared (instead of muttering under their breath for e.g), and if you brought me chocolate we'd be friends forever.
Only one thing, maybe the first time have a chat on the doorstep with her....if her house is all untidy she may feel uncomfortable about inviting you in (or still being in her PJs!), a wave every so often and then you can charge in later and say "gimme the baby, get in the shower"!
It all depends on how you come across I suppose, big smile Leasha!
What would you do? What would you want?
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) I think I would be worried if my neighbours came along - completely out of the blue - and brought along something, I think personally, it would make me feel like I was a bad mum and that they were coming "to check up on me".
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