What is your 3.5 - 4 yo like?

[Tegam]

Not really - that would be my solution. No undies until she can poo in the toilet for 5 days (but I'm mean)

Well so am I then!

[Arcadia]

Fwiw we have seen heaps more aggression from dd since she turned three. The ONLY thing that seems to reduce it is for me to deal with my own temper. I have explosive rage sometimes which I've inherited from my mums side of the family. I have to really, really keep a check on it. I was going to go see someone, but I have found ways of coping myself and I'm extremely proud of my changes. I haven't yelled in quite a while now.

It hasnt eliminated the issue (ie dd still grits her teeth and squashes ds and snatches toys) but its really helped.

[Maruschke]

M I don't think it's your parenting at all. I think she has some challenging behaviour, I just am not sure of what is normal 3-4 year old challenging behaviour and what isn't. I haven't been there and I have no experience . I think our kids personalities come through much stronger than our parenting styles. I know you are tearing your hair out, I really hope there is some advice you can try to see if it makes things better. Sorry a really nothingness post, I empathise with you I just have no wisdom at all to share.

As for the undies, I agree, take them off her! If she is doing poos in the potty then this is fantastic. I hope it works quickly.

[Jakabella]

I think its an age thing. Bella has been a golden child right up till she turned 3. Well 3 is a whole new ball game! She is tantrumy, whiny, cranky and defiant!
We are just about toilet trained but then if she is feeling lazy she will just wee! Not so much poo but she wee'd on the couch today! When I asked why? I was to tired to tell you or walk to the potty! WTH!?!?

Sorry not much help!
Kate xox

[Party-of-five]

besides the toilet issues you have just decribed my DD1. excactly. I sat reading your post nodding my head. they are the same age...4 in august. She is doing my head in at the moment because like your DD she can talk very well but she insists on screaming and whinging all day she is so nasty to DD2 some days it makes me cry. I can't offer you any advice if you find something that works please share...but I can offer you heaps of these cause I know I need some

[black_rose]

It's not your parenting at all! Ds was cranky all last weekend when we went camping, at his first day back at daycare he was an angel but cracked it as soon as we got home. They know they can get away with more at home.