My DD was too young (23 months) too feel 'important' or 'helpful' doing/getting things for mummy and the baby! I found the best thing was to spend all my time with DD when DS was asleep- this involved cooking together, reading, playing games etc or just having a little walk outside. I would also spend an hour or two out the front with her when I knew DS was having a good sleep. The other thing I was warned about (and did happen with me) was that I may get cranky at the older one. Me being so tired and emotional and pulled between the two, and DD having a hard time too (dropped her day sleeps for some time) and playing up made me cranky at DD when she did something that would not normally bother me. FWIW I found it really tough- new baby was great, DD was ok but I found the pull between needing to be with each one at the same time very hard. But 6 months on, it is very easy and they are just gorgeous together.