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Thread: when is the best age gap for second child?

  1. #37

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    Sunshine coast, QLD
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    1,474

    Default

    Very interesting topic



    I have a 7 year gap between 1 and 2 and 17mth gap between 2 and 3, so i done both lol

    My huge gap was from a tramatic birth and pnd and i was never ever having more children after him, took me 7 years to get over it and luckily my second birth was great and had no pnd, hence the shorter gap, i wanted another one as i left the hospital with number 2, the main reason for 3 was that my older child is a really social kid and was so lonely without anyone around and we just couldnt do that to another child, i dont mind the short gap at all myself, has its bad days but i am sure any gap does, now i am thinking whether to have a number 4 or not

    As for jelously, my 17mth old at the time of number 3's birth was really jelous and still is, we cant leave him alone with the baby!

  2. #38

    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Upland, CA USA
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    56

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    My siter and I are 15 months apart and as kids we fought alot. As teenagers and adults we are the best of freinds. My husband has two younger brothers that are 10 and 12 years apart in age from him and his just now having a brother to brother relationship with the middle brother and not a father and son relationship that they had in the past. Bascially, it depends on the relationships they bulid with each other in their lives.

    I have a soon to be 2 year old in March and I'm also expecting a second boy in May. So it is going to be interesting to see the differences in their personalities.


  3. #39

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
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    8

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    I have a 2.75yr age gap between my first born daughter and little bubby boy. I am finding it very tough. She is right at an age where she is struggling emotionally, you know the 'terrible two's' which I have discoved means 2 years long instead of 2yo.

    Just as he was born, she exploded. She is having tantrums, feeling very alone. trying for attention, and is just plain miserable a lot of the time. We are very nurturing, but are having a real struggle with this age gap.

    If I could go again, I would love a 4 year age gap. They are just over that hard time, and old enough to understand a bit more when you don't have the same amount of time for them.

    I would either go for a shorter age gap or a longer one, not the terrible twos.

    Linda.

  4. #40

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Perth Western Australia
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    Something I was thinking about today as well was how our perspective changes after we haev had children. Before I had Tori I was adamant that I was only going to have 2 children, and I was going to have them 3 years apart. As soon as she was born, DH and I decided 2 just wouldnt be enough andwe wanted 3 and that we would much prefer them closer together. I guess another factor that weighs in on this issue is careers, I am a primary school teacher, all up it took me 6 years to get my degree, and i have been teaching for just over 3 years, I am now torn between a career I love and having a family I love- I know it is possible to do both, and I certainly have admiration for people which ever role they choose SAHM, working mum or a combination of both. For me I dont want to give my career up, but I also don't want to work full time and have my kids in care full time.........so I am going to have to find a happy medium that will work with 1, 2 or 3 kids.

  5. #41
    kimba Guest

    Red face 6 and a half years

    hi im kimba my daughter known as froggie was born on the 27th of september 2000 now im preg with my second child who is a girl as well, as is due on the 23rd of april this year. im not with my froggies dad but have found a great guy in my gentle giant (he's 6ft 6). at the moment my froggies dad is trying 2 go for custody and froggie lives with my mum as i have had lots of mental health issues.

  6. #42

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Cambridge Gardens,NSW
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    21

    Thumbs up

    I dont think there is a 'right or wrong' time to have another child..it's the 'perfect' time,no matter how many months/years your kids are born apart.
    My daughter will be 4 in April,and im 12 weeks pregnant today. I would have loved to have a second with my daughter being closer to 3 then 4...but,as nature would have it..it took 14 months of TTC..so NOW is the perfect time for us to have another child and for my daughter to finally be a big sister!

    Whenever people have their kids..that's the perfect time!*L*

    I think 2 or 3 years apart is a fairly good gap..gives everyone time to recover from the birth,getting thru the newborn,no sleep stage,the kids are then a little more independant by then too..meaning that they can go play on their own,happy to watch some tv,can perhaps understand a little more instruction etc

    So then if/when you bring another baby into the world,you can have that time looking after a newborn and dont have to 'stress' as much about your eldest.

    If that makes any sense??*L*

    Every situation is different though.

    There are some women(like a neighbour)who had her 2 girls(out of 4 kids)10 months apart!!
    Or like an old school friend i had..her mum just kept on having miscarriage after miscarriage,year after year...so when she was finally able to carry a baby to full term,my friend and her brother were 10 years apart!!

    Im sure both those families thought the gap was 'perfect'..





    Bub #2 due 8th August 2007
    Caitlyns finally going to be a big sister!


  7. #43
    sheilanagig Guest

    Default mind the gap

    I have recently been talking to my mother about this, my husband and I are now 30 and planning to start a family very soon. My mother said the best age gap she had, and she has 5 children, was the 18 month gap, as I am only "planning" to have 2 she suggested this was the easiest as you could raise them together (more or less)

  8. #44

    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Upland, CA USA
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    I think it depends on the child. My sister has a 6 year old and his little brother will be 3 in April, so they are 3 1/2 to 4 years apart and my oldest nephew was very jealous of his baby brother. He was the baby for a long time (he also has for other older siblings from his father's previous relationship) and it took him about a 6 months to a year to the helpful big brother he is now.

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