What are your reasons for sending her? are you planning to return to work, or do you think she needs socialising, or do you need a 'break' day so you can do errands etc? If it's not for a work reason, I wouldn't worry about sending her for reasons of socialisation, because that this age they don't need it, nor do they gain anything from it really - children are much much older before they truly start to interact with their peers. If you think it is going to upset her and can already picture her crying when you leave her, then I think you've answered your own question.
DD1 started when she was 5 months old. This was because i was going back to work 2 days a week.
DD2 started at 8 months along with her sister to give me a break, do business work etc. They both love it. Both seem different children since they started!
I'm not working just yet as I'm pregnant with number 2. However, many people have been lecturing me how I should make her more independent by allowing her to socialize with others. At what age do you think she would benefit more from daycare such as doing some activities?
My son is 2 and still not socialising with other kids. Most parents i speak to say about 2 and a half or 3 is when they start to recognise that it is fun to play with other kids.
We started DS at 5 months of age because DH and I both work but it is flexible hours so him being in one day really helped us get all of the work done. He really enjoyed it and I think only once cried when we left (about 3 months down the track when he was teething). He eventually went to two days. He found it really stimulating and loved interacting with the kids (he would give the sad ones cuddles and pats on the back etc). Although he is very affectionate he has never been very clingy so I think that helped him. When we started we went quite slowly and I spent time there with him before leaving him there alone. But the major thing was that he went to an awesome centre and bonded so well with the staff. He got to do lots of things there that we don't really do at home. Eg. we do some craft but he would get to every day he was there. Also they helped us to know where he was up to and should be up to for his age. Unfortunately we moved away from that area and his new centre wasn't up to scratch so he no longer goes. We have him on a waiting list for one that seems really good so will see what it is like if he gets in. I don't think you can always go on how happy they are either. DS rarely cries at daycare and where the first daycare always made sure he got what he needed, the second tended to use that as an excuse to forget about him in favour of other kids (eg. he would be left in shoes and jumpers for the whole day even after it got hot or he wouldnt get his bottle).
I really think the main thing is how good the carers and centre are. We considered his previous carers as extended family. He wasn't just safe there. He got what he needed both psychologically and physically. Unless we find that again, I don't think we will be sending him to another centre.
I hope this helps.
Also just about socialising. I think it is true that children dont really play with each other until they are a bit older (I think it is around 3). But socialising is also about them just spending time together, learning to recognise the behaviour, expressions and emotions of other children. These are the precursors of playing well together. I think any supervised situation is good for this though so playgroup, playgrounds, mothers group, kid classes (eg. music, gymbaree) will help encourage these skills.
Last edited by krysalyss; September 7th, 2008 at 10:49 AM.
: Wanted to add :)
have you considered a playgroup or something similar at all? Also gives you a great opportunity to have another outlet for socialising too - not sure if they have anything like that in the States? I think your family are well intentioned and only are thinking of the best for her, but if you feel like you're being pressured to do it then maybe wait a while and see how she goes with her clingyiness etc kwim? You may even want to look into short term care for a few hours once a week or something as your pg progresses to give you a bit of time out and to help you get things down without a little one underfoot.
Yeah, I second playgroup too. You can still be there with her, have a chat with other mums etc. I think kids should be around other kids, even if they play side by side instead of together.
Playgroup help my kids socialise and DD to get over her shyness with mummy there
I waited until my two were both over 2 before leaving them in daycare.
I don't know if my DD is unusual but she started CC at 12 months as I was going back to work. She was obviously socialising with other children and playing with them from about 18 months. The carers acknowledged that it was younger than they usually see but they were very clear that she was definitely playing WITH the children and had a clear preference for her particular friends.
Now, at 2.5 she and her friends do socialise and play together - I have seen them pretend to make cakes and tea together and sit down at the table with each other and have a conversation. They also play games where they need to take turns and help each other. One day when the boys took her friend's doll from her DD went to the boys and said "No, That is Amber's doll, please give it back" and she got it and took it back to Amber.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I believe these are definitely socialising behaviours so I don't think that 3 years holds true for all children. I think you need to look at your own child and determine where they are at socially and make your decision based on the individual, not on what the "accepted" age that is touted happens to be.
We started @ 9 months. eased into it - I went with him for a few hours for the first couple of days. He's now 15months and there's a boy he plays with all the time, and another boy he steals toys off all the time ... He loves it, big smile when we drive there in the morning.
For us, its great, but that's because we found a centre that aligned with our values and is smaller (council-run) and he's thriving there.
Children at that age are supposed to be dependent on their mummies!! Kids don't really start to learn from socialising till they are about 3. Why don't you take her to a playgroup or something similar?
I take my DD to playgroup once a week, and she loves it! She's in a new & fun environment, but she knows I'm there if she needs me. It's good to meet other mums too
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