Wondering if anyone has heard of Tweddle? I have called them and got very little information of the phone except they said 'people seem to think we're controlled crying but we're not', which raised alarms for me!
I am having a lot of trouble with DS (11mo in a week) naps -- nighttimes have been OK except now where he has a cold and is cutting 4 top teeth! I feed to sleep at night but I carry him to sleep for days (we do this in an Ergo carrier). Fine except he is heavy and also I need to have other people be able to put him to sleep...
My MCHN recc'd Tweddle as an idea but I was wondering if anyone had used it and what they thought? I am not a fan of controlled crying and I do know his tired signs.
Hi, I don't know a lot about them either, but I know one of the girls in my baby buddies group went there and said they did use a form controlled crying. I will let her know about this thread in case she can give you some more info.
if she has any information i would really appreciate it!
thanks
so stressful when you don't know what to do! i mean i don't want to cc at all but i can't be tied to him forever... my concern is re childcare (or a nanny, i am looking for one) won't be able to get him to nap.
Nox, I really don't think you should have to cc to get him to settle for anyone else. There are ways and means of going about it without resorting to cc. It's just finding the resources that don't tell you you need to cc IYKWIM! Any good nanny will find his/her own way of settling your bub, it just might take a bit of time (like it takes us new mums LOL).
If you really want to go to a sleep school I would recommend either O'Connell House in Camberwell or the Queen Elizabeth Centre in Noble Park. I went to QEC (google it - they have lots of info about what they do on their site). They do NOT do CC but they teach comforting strategies that we found worked in our house. I've heard that Tweddle call it "Comforted crying" that other sleep schools do as well but they don't and it is actually timed crying
If you want any other info let me know.
At my mothers group the nurse thing used to work at Tweddle and the advice we were given is CC. I was so disgusted she encouraging to CC with our 6 week olds that I didn't go back.
Oh i def don't want to do any cc... i am nervous even with the name sleep school -- but are saying they DON"T do any cc and it still worked for you?
i will look that up. i thought that a program that comes to you would be eaiser did you find going there ok?
another thing i have heard is that it all stuffs up like any sleep does with teething colds etc.. so i am actually wondering if sleep schools help? i mean his night sleeps are fine adn naps are fine but the techniques of getting there seems to be difficult.
i hear you about any 'good nanny' but that seems to be precisely the problem i am having. i can't find one!! i'll take suggestions there too!
Nox, I was so nervous about the words sleep school that I didn't go until my DS was a week off turning one LOL. I went to a MCHN centre in my area, who uses nurses from the O'Connell centre. They were great, and really try to work out a plan that you can use comfortably. They say there's no point in getting you to do something that you can't continue on with at home! That being said, we most of the time use our own methods to get him to sleep, because it's faster, but it's good to know that he can and will settle for other people. He's not the sort of kid you can just stick in the cot wide awake and know that he'll go to sleep, but that's okay, that's who he is!
FWIW, although sleep school was helpful to us, we probably could have lived without it. But I say that in hindsight, at the time I was pretty frustrated. I'm much more relaxed now about his sleep patterns. It's easier when they're older though.
ETA Nox, seeing as you're in Melbourne, have a look at Pinky McKay's website You might find what you're looking for there.
I have looked at Pinky's site, read her books and been to her seminars. While I find her incredibly comforting adn reassuring, what I didn't fid was strategies that would be specific to us. My DS sounds the same -- I laugh (and cry) when I hear about babies who just go to sleep ... so not the case with our either!
Maybe I should also relax and realise at this age if he doesn't get his naps the world wont' fall apart and he will sleep ... it is frustrating though because then if he falls asleep at 4 or 5 pm he won't go to bed until late adn that is when I get most of my work done, then he may sleep late, which then sets the whole cycle.
Maybe sleep school techniques that are gentle as you suggest from O'Connell House or QEC are worth looking into. I am closer to the Camberwell one. I have also emailed Pinky to ask if my situation is worth a consult.
Can I ask you about O'Connell House -- what do they do and how? DId you spend any time listening to crying?
I went to Twedle earlier this year, and if they say they dont do controlled crying, they are lying! Thats exactly what it was!
I was told to put DD down in the cot wide awake, and walk out of the room. When she started crying, I could go in there, and pat her and make sshhh noises till she calmed down, but couldnt pick her up or look her in the eye. When she calmed down, I was told to walk out of the room (this took about 30 mins), and then if she started crying again, wait a few more minutes, and repeat the process. If this isnt controlled crying, I don't know what is!
I would definitely look into the other schools, cause I dont think Tweddle will give you what u are looking for. Let us know how you go!
Wow kellie -- how did you go with it? Did it work? It does sound like it is too full on for me actually. I am surprised that my MCHN suggested it as she knows how I feel about these things.
I will definitely look into other options ... or if I hear back from Pinky I will tell you how it went.
I really wonder if any of these things really work, I mean isn't it just a case of growing out of it? Or am I being optimistic?
Nox - I didnt go with it... I was also promised that it wasnt controlled crying, so as soon as we got home, I went back to my usual ways, which were sometimes feeding to sleep, and sometimes just cuddling to sleep.
I am very interested in what you find out though, cause I want to know that she will settle for other people, if I have to go back to work.
No I haven't read that book. I'll tell you what I read Pinky's Sleeping Like a Baby and the Sears Family's Baby Book and their Baby Sleep Book. All of these make you feel fabulous for following your instincts which was wonderful. BUT I have to say that in terms of real likfe strategies I didn't get too much out of it. I know my kid's sleep signs ect but it is the way I put him down that I guess makes it hard (*although according to these authors, I am perfect the way I am) but like you, I am back at work and need to feel better that he is being settled!
I have asked Pinky about this directly so will let you know what she says. I have also been told that he will settle for others if they try their ways for long enough. I am just concerned about what those ways may be -- or in the case of some day cares, that if he doesn't sleep, he just doesn't sleep -- which of course I understand!
I am really not sure that I feel ok about going to to school for this .... but maybe it is the only option? I like everyone else, just want to do the right thing, in spite of all the comments about spoiling etc I get!
I want to continue with attachment/gentle parenting but I need to make it work for all of us, including now for me. There must be a way! I will keep you informed!
First of all, pfffft to anyone who uses the word spoiling in reference to a baby!
Nox, techniques like cc may 'work', but at what cost? What are we really teaching our baby?
You know, I have come to the firm conclusion that whatever we do as parents, babies will sleep how they are programmed to sleep. As in, it will be determined by their temperament. Well done to all those who have excellent sleepers, feel free to pat yoursleves on the back for having such a good baby but IMO, it's more to do with your baby, not you. I've felt like that for awhile now, and it was confirmed for me by our paed who said pretty much the same thing when we saw him at 12 months. We mentioned that although we weren't concerned by it, DS wasn't a good sleeper. He asked about his sleeping patterns, and upon hearing them laughed and told us that our boy was perfectly normal. He said he's not sure where these stories of 'most children are sleeping through by 12 months blah blah blah' come from, he thinks it's crap
That's not to say that you can't tweak things a bit. Certainly you can change things drastically if you're happy doing that (again, at what cost ). Some kids will respond well to sleep training, some won't. Our DS actually responded a whole heap better than I thought he would. But I figure at the end of the day, whatever we do, our DS is never going to be a kid who just hops into bed and goes to sleep on his own (and I can't say I blame him). That's not to say I've 'given up', more, come to terms with the reality of his sleep patterns. Which certainly makes life a lot easier, and less stressful!
Just remember, this age will pass by so quickly. Before you know it things will be different, and this may not be of such a concern to you. And if it is, maybe when your bub is a bit older you might feel more comfortable with the idea of sleep school. As I said it took me almost a year!
I think that when the going gets tough in other areas -- work, teething, colds etc it is just really hard to keep perspective on the reality that this too shall pass.
I have emailed the O'connor centre to find out about their beliefs. Again I guess if I hesitate there must be a reason ... I know that Pinky is interstate, but I await her comments!!!
I know that while I too should not stress over it so much I can't help myself!
Janie -- do you have to work hard to get DS to sleep?
I am sure in the end, it just works itself out! Afterall there were no sleep schools until recently and people survived!
Just quickly, DS has always been difficult to settle, but it's getting easier in recent times. I think it's him getting older, rather than anything we do. Mind you, the easiest times are when he feeds to sleep. And last night was atrocious, but he's been unwell, so that never helps.
When he was tiny I had to do laps of the house with him to get him to sleep. I had a broken foot, so that was no mean feat LOL. I worried that he would never go to sleep any other way. But of course he did, he got too big to carry around endlessly, so we restricted the walking around to his room. And then we lost the wrap (at 9 months , he loved it) and then we just sat in a chair. Sometimes now he'll go to sleep in his cot, but it's not that often. Sometimes he'll go to sleep on the boob, sometimes he feeds, sits up and puts his head on my shoulder and goes to sleep immediately. Sometimes he feeds, sits up and decided it's play time LOL. Just like he got too big to be walked around, one day he'll be too big to feed to sleep, and too big to sit on my lap, so I try not to worry about those things anymore.
What I'm trying to say is that things change all the time, and what you're worried about now may not bother you in the future. Of course, it may be replaced by other worries, but hey, that's life LOL.
I'll be interested to hear what the O'Connell centre says
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Anyone heard of Tweddle Parenting Centre?
You might find what you're looking for there.
but IMO, it's more to do with your baby, not you. I've felt like that for awhile now, and it was confirmed for me by our paed who said pretty much the same thing when we saw him at 12 months. We mentioned that although we weren't concerned by it, DS wasn't a good sleeper. He asked about his sleeping patterns, and upon hearing them laughed and told us that our boy was perfectly normal. He said he's not sure where these stories of 'most children are sleeping through by 12 months blah blah blah' come from, he thinks it's crap
, he loved it) and then we just sat in a chair. Sometimes now he'll go to sleep in his cot, but it's not that often. Sometimes he'll go to sleep on the boob, sometimes he feeds, sits up and puts his head on my shoulder and goes to sleep immediately. Sometimes he feeds, sits up and decided it's play time LOL. Just like he got too big to be walked around, one day he'll be too big to feed to sleep, and too big to sit on my lap, so I try not to worry about those things anymore.
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