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Thread: Whinging 4 month old

  1. #1

    Default Whinging 4 month old

    I may have posted something similar to this else where but I'm so sleep deprived I can't remember. My issue (one of many) at the moment is that I feel like my DS (4.5 month old) has become very whingy when we go out. It feels like I spend most of the time comforting him or trying to get him to go to sleep. I think the reason he's so grumpy is that he doesn't sleep much during the day and gets overtired (no matter how hard I try to put him to sleep). Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I never feel like I can relax when I go out because I feel like all he does is cry. Most other babies seem fairly content to me and don't seem to cry like Lincoln. I try to give him to other people to hold and he just cracks up. Then I have to try and resettle him (which can take a while). My DH thinks very differently about the situation and thinks I over react. He doesn't think he cries that much but I do. Does anyone else feel like their babies cry alot because they're tired and do they have difficulties when others want to hold their babies because they cry at that too? Sorry for rambling - I'm very tired and feel so anxious all the time. I know you can't always know why your baby cries and I should try to relax more but am finding it very difficult.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Mid North Coast


    Hi, my son is 5 months now and I can really understand just what you are going through.

    Generally, he is a very easy baby to look after, but when he gets upset when we are out, I find I get really stressed out because of it. Cooper is also very clingy at the moment, and I was worried about this for a while, because I really make sure that he is used to other people, and he was fine with being held by other people, up until a month ago. To be honest, I just put it down to a development stage, and he will eventually grow out of it. When he is happy though, I pass him to friends so he knows that it is ok. I make sure that I am close to him so he knows he is safe, and if he cries, I just take him back, but then I will let him be near the other person so he can slowly get used to them.

    WHen you are out, have you tried a sling? I find that when I finally got used to mine, when I was out, I would put him in this and he would calm down and even go to sleep.

    It can be so very hard when they are unsettled, and can test your patience even again when people say that you are over reacting!! But know that there is a good chance that he is just going through a stage, and hopefully he will grow out of it. I know that it is annoying when people say this, but try to relax. I have noticed when I am really stressed, Cooper doesn't settle, in fact he gets even worse cause he picks up on it. But you have to do what you feel is right.

    I am probably not helping at all but want to let you know that you aren't alone in how you feel. I take my hat off to you, being sleep deprived can be so hard on you, and makes you question everything you do! But keep on giving Lincoln lots of hugs and cuddles because it makes them feels so safe and loved!:hugs:

    I hope that someone can suggest something more or even recommend a book to give you some more guidance.

    Hang in there!
    Last edited by Mum2boy; January 13th, 2007 at 09:16 PM.

  3. #3


    Thankyou so much for your response Mum2boy. It's exactly what I needed to hear. I totally agree with what you said about them picking up on our anxiety. I used to take lexapro but have been off it since BF so he won't get any side effects. The suggestion about the clingy phase is something I haven't thought about. I thought they went through this much later. I haven't tried a sling becuase Lincoln loves to stand and see everything that goes on so I've thought this may make him more unsettled and stressed if he can't see. I think it's a good idea to hang on to him for a little while when I go somewhere and give him time to get used to the new environment and then pass him on to others when he's a little more comfortable. I find it hard to take him back though when he starts cracking up - because I feel like the person holding him may not want to give him back to me IYKWIM. But I just have to be more assertive because he must be stressed out if he's crying and there's no other reason for it. Thanks again for your response. It was really helpful.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Brisbane, Australia


    Hugs to you! It's so hard when you're out and the bubs is having a hard day. Especially when you get judgemental people looking at you like you're a bad mum! I think most of us know what you're talking about (unfortunately).

    It's not unusual for babies to develop stranger anxiety at this age. Some babies grow out of it but some are just meant to be shy. It's also very true that he will pick up on your stress and get more upset if you are upset too.

    Anyway, my suggestion is try putting bubs in a sling but facing outwards. That way he can see everything that's going on but still be snuggled up close to you. Don't feel bad if people want to hold him but he's happier with you. Your baby's well being is more important than people being miffed cause they didn't get to hold the baby.

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