Why is it always worse at night?

[CoNNiE_Melb]

I'm glad you've had the courage to come on here and say it like it is. This is exactly what I am fearing and now I don't feel so bad about it.

I would say it's worse at night because:
1. You're tired after a long day
2. You've been in a routine and had the night to yourself for so long that it's a big adjustment
3. I've always looked forward to my 'work day' finishing at 7pm (when DS) goes to bed, and that won't be the case anymore.
I have no doubt it'll get better. Once the little one is sleeping through and you can have you and DH time back, you'll be feeling much better - it just takes time, as we all learnt from baby #1.

[Teeki]

Thank you so much everyone.

I'm so grateful to have DH here for these two weeks - I don't think I could ask for a better husband and Daddy, the only reason any of us got any sleep on Tuesday night is because of him. He's doing absolutely everything he can, barely even thinking of it. DD is a real Daddy's girl, so it helps there too.

Last night wasn't actually too bad. DD woke at 11 and called for me but I was feeding DS, I went in (because when she calls for one parent sending in the other makes it lots worse) and sat next to her. She was ok that DS was there and I couldn't lie down with her, she held my hand and snuggled in while I sang to her and she went back to sleep. We also fixed up the bed so I could feed DS lying down, so from about 1 I brought him into bed and we all slept quite well til DD woke at 8:30.

So I'm here in the morning again thinking everything is wonderful again - because it is really. I guess it's just a tired hormonal thing at night, but I'm so glad to know it's not just me, thank you everyone.

Arimeh, I actually thought of you on Tuesday night, I was thinking if you can do this with five surely I can suck it up and handle two!

ETA: Those have been my thoughts exactly PZ - I've ruined our perfect lives and this is a huge mistake. I just keep thinking well I felt like that when DD was born, and my idea of perfect just changed. I don't remember how long this lasted with DD, hopefully not too long.

[Jaycee]

Big honey.

I don't have anything constructive to add other than to say I too felt what you are feeling, and night times were definitely worse. Your hormones are still all over the place and will be for some time, add to that tiredness and a general upheavel of your life and it's no wonder you feel like that!

It will pass, and in the interim if there is anything I can do to help please don't hesitate to ask!

[Teeki]

Thanks Jaycee

Last night was a bit better, until DD's bedtime. She wouldn't let DH do it, but I had DS. I gave DS to DH so I could do it, but he cried the whole time because it's when he wants to cluster feed. The DD told me she missed me and I just broke down I hadn't had a chance to spend proper time with her, especially without DS. She did go to sleep but I was left feeling incredibly guilty.

So today we had a big family day. Went out to lunch and the playground, where I played with her and DH held DS. At 3 DH went to the pub to see his work mates and DS had a really good nap, so lots of quality time with her there. I didn't have any of the negative emotions at all tonight. She wanted us both at bedtime, so I sat next to her holding her hand and feeding DS while DH read books to her. Suddenly I remembered, at this time with DD I'd spend an hour or two on the couch with my boobs out, she'd feed forever then have a good sleep til we went to bed. So maybe now I have to do the same, but part of that in DD's bed? When he stopped feeding DH took DS, I lay down with DD and sang til she fell asleep.

So I think (hope) that we can get a little routine sorted, and I'm feeling much better about it and remembering I can't just leave DD to DH, he'll be back at work soon and she needs me too.