Until Gus's latest round of medical needs disqualifying him from being babysat by anyone other than a nurse, we used to use a babysitting agency all the time. We had three "regular" sitters. I can't speak more highly of them and felt he was in very good hands. We made sure that the only people allowed to sit him were qualified nannies doing babysitting on the side. We don't have any family in Sydney so our only alternatives were to leave him wiht an agency or not go out.
I would Tegan. I have limited support in Brissy & when we want to go out every once in a while it would be nice. We have looked into it and were going to until we found someone in our neighbourhood, an older ladies whose children have left home. I think going into it like doing interviews over the phone or in person beforehand is the way to go. You need to feel comfortable.
Tegan, I would do it in this situation - getting time with your DH is very important. Another thing to consider, most child care workers babysit too. If you would be more comfortable with that, you could ask at a local child care centre. Before my ILs moved to Brissy in Dec we asked Jack's carer from day care to sit with the boys one night and she was fantastic. It did help of course that Jack already knew her, but it was also good knowing that she was qualified and experienced with young kids and also has first aid qualifications.
I wouldn't Tegan. But I'm a bit overprotective - probably neurotically so, lol.
DH and I have our romantic nights in, lol.
I haven't done it myself, but what about a one off daycare place where there are more workers and more accountability and you and DH could have a nice day out together?
It depends on the agency. Alot of them do a full-background check on thier sitters and nannies and will let you interview the sitter for placement. If she had passed a criminal records check, had a blue card and the boys seemed to like her I'd be ok with it (but I'd probably install a couple of nanny-cams and tell her about them to install a sense of paranoia in her rofl).
In a way your children are safer with a nanny from the agency because you can't run a background check on the neighbours (not legally anyway lol) and they might get offended if you ask to see thier blue card.
We're stuck in hard place here because I don't want the ILs to babysit until my children are old enough to rat them out if they do anything they shouldn't but if I get a sitter MIL will carry on like it's the world's greatest insult.
I just it depends on how they screen their sitters (I would be asking very specific questions and I would also want to meet the person beforehand). DD is in Family Day Care so we've always asked for carers that are happy to do evenings on an occasional basis - which is a lifesaver as we don't have any family here.
Another good arrangement is to find a friend with the same child configuration as you and take it in turns to have each others's kids.
No way! I've worked for agenceys and i can tell you how easily anyone could get work there. Seriously, i went in expecting an interview and was signed up immediatley, and espite all my background and experince and qualifications, they hadn't even opened my resume before beginning the sign up process.
Police checks dont mean anything, ss long as the police have never caught and charged a person with something they can easily get a police check.
For the first 4 1/2 years of Ashlea's life I had no family at all around me and had no help either but no way ever would i let someone look after my child that i didn't know.
My opinion is this (and yes i've over the top protective like Nat) if anything happened to ashlea and it was me that put her in that position, I would NEVER forgive myself.
When I was nannying I used to meet the parents 10 minutes before they'd leave for the night and think how the hell are they trusting me with their child like that? I was a mother then too, Ash used to stay home with her dad whileI worked and I just couldnt bare the idea that she'd be left with a stranger like the kids i was looking after
But, thats me and my opinion
no i wouldn't do it. i used to work in child care and i know how good carers can look on the outside but when they get down to it they just aren't very good or even like the children. i wouldn't trust anyone i didnt know.
I thought the same thing Caro, before DS1 arrived. The first time I left him with a sitter who is a very close friend he was about 4 months I think and I was very reluctant and worried about him the whole time we were gone (about 2 hours). But it did DH and I the world of good to have that time together and I now realise just how important that is. Having a good relationship is good for the kids too, so I have now changed my view on a few things. It is a very individual decision though.
hey Mads, i wasn't implying earlier than anyone is a bad mum or shouldn't use these services, its just that as thorough as they suggest the screening process is, I know its not. I've been there, i've done their screening process and its all alot more basic than they let you think. And meeting the babysitters prior often doesnt happen with temp work like that. I worked as a temp and never once met the families until 15 mins before they left for the night.
I won't name the agency i worked for, but I lost all faith in agencies after working for them, it was one of the most well known agencies with a great rep. but behind the scenes things were a little different.
Once again though, each to their own!
Awww c'mon guys I don't think Caro was implying that...
I have friends who feel the same way. I was able to leave my bubs with Marc when he was only a couple of months old. I had friends who wouldn't even dream of doing that. And their reasons as to why they wouldn't was because it took them soooo long to get their babies they couldn't comprehend the idea of leaving their bubs. Whereas me it took 24 months of LTTTC and Clomid and Met and after 2 miscarriages I got my boy, and yes he was wanted no less wanted than my gf but she felt she couldn't leave her kids for this reason whereas this reason didn't stop me from leaving my son overnight with DH whilst I had a sleep over with a gf.
Everyone is different, just because you feel differently or act differently doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong... just means we are different Please don't read into it more than that... Caro and I disagree on many many hot topics and I KNOW she doesn't consider me a bad mother nor would she ever imply that
Like some people here, i have a thing with leaving my children with anyone. but the reason i asked this was because there has only ever been 2 times in 3 years that DH and I have been out together alone. At the moment it feels like we hardly ever see each other because we're attending to our kids or working or being injured. We are only 20, so we have not had time to live out life really yet. Which is why it probably harder on us. So i am still in a pickle as to whether or not i should do this. I mean i love my kids to death but DH and i not having time to oursevles is kinda breaking us apart.
Tegan its really important for your kids to see Mummy & Daddy together & united. We HAVE to get out DH & I once a month. Just an idea but maybe asking at the MCHN's for advice? They may know someone in the local area who does it. I found by asking at the MCHN's that there is a program through a hospital about "adopt a grandparent" and sometimes if you get the little ones to sleep, you can go out with an easier mind. I know its hard, we have no family close by and have developed friendships with neighbours with children to get some help once in a while.
I do have an aunty near by. But i would hate to ask her as she is 70 and has a few health problems at the moment. So wouldn't want to hand over 2 demanding children like that.
ok, what if you tried to leave the kids with a nanny for an hour or so. Then you can see if it was working out or not, before you leave them for a whole evening?
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