You're looking at a generation of children who have been brought up by a generation of parents who were not taught grammar at school... and now we're having our own children. What hope do they have? Obviously the geek parents, like myself, but what about the normal people out there?

DS is a fantastic talker, his cousin not so much so (OK, not at all) until her mother put her in a nursery so she could have a couple of days off - no work, no child, just chilling. (Lucky rich thing!) BUT I talk to DS, I read to him... SiL (and PiL) think that the TV is great and invented for children. Niece was also not spoken directly to, whereas I chat to DS all the time. He now puts his finger to his mouth and says "ssssh" to me! DS interacts with the TV, but then I do too and we interact with it together. (Good thing Thomas is only 10 minutes long, I couldn't cope with much more "chuff chuff chuff chuff DOO DOO chuff chuff...")

Sure DS has some TV; if DH isn't around I need it so I can cook dinner. Most of the time we watch together, I ask DS what the character is doing, what the dog says, what the cat says... and make the noises too. We do all the dances and songs to the night garden together. DS loves it when we do the tombliboo dance and loves joining in with the circle on his hand to start with and the weird bandstand dance at the end.

I read DS his books, my books, magazines, make stories out of pictures, tell him a story about TV characters and DS meeting them (btw, never again is DS having a Night Garden adventure, too much excitement!).

DS is receiving the right start. He is stimulated and encouraged to learn. He gets to touch things and talk and be understood and explore, he dances, he plays... he's happy. Happiness shouldn't be underrated. Yes, he has bumps. Yes, he now needs more stimulating toys as the ones for his age are too easy. But he can use imagination and play with just a box for hours. He is considerate - he likes jumping in puddles so let's help the soft toy jump in puddles too! He is great at sharing toys and cuddling people who need cuddles. TBH, the fact he can recognise the first letter of his name is immaterial. That he isn't composing music on my piano... no biggie, he has fun with it. He says "quack" instead of "this is really exciting!" (ie "dractor... quack dractor!" or similar - whilst still knowing it's the noise a duck makes) but he makes sure he is understood.

Anyway, about TV/DVDs. They are not inherently educational. Passive learning is not learning. Some adults can do it, but children cannot. IF you talk about the DVD with them, sit with them, talk to them about what's happening, join in with the songs and dances... then yes, there is some value. But you can do that without the TV. Sometimes when I'm ill I can't - DS dances with the TV and sits on my knee while I explain what he's seeing or turn the TV off and tell a story. But plonking a child in front of an "educational" TV is NOT educational. They won't learn. You have to re-enforce what they're learning. I can teach DS to recycle by doing it myself FAR better than Tommy Zoom ever will. DS picks up litter and puts it in the bin when we're out and about... not because the TV sang a song about it, because he sees Mummy do it at the park and the carers at Nursery do it every Monday morning after the weekend mess.

Anyway, just my slant on it. TV can be OK, but only if you're there with it. Children's TV used to be called "watch WITH mother" for a good reason; now it's the "electronic babysitter" and used like this all the time it is detrimental. I've seen this with my Niece and with my own cousins; those children whose parents spend time with them seem to not only develop faster but have a love of learning later in life.

About early reading. I was reading early. I was frustrated when a teacher who didn't like me (she was marrying my dad's cousin and didn't like me before she started teaching me; the only teacher who didn't!) wouldn't let me read above where I was supposed to read. I HATED that year at school! But it didn't stop me reading books above my level at home. Because I was encouraged to do what I enjoyed and was bought not only stories but educational books and games so I could learn as I read and played.