'Your baby can read' DVD's

[Curly]

Emma, I know what you are saying and I used to think the same as you. However, I now have a DS who is a little slow on the speech side and those kind of comments are like a red rag to a bull. I have had so many people say to me "oh well, I talk and read and sing all the time to my child and that's why they are such a chatterbox."

I do ALL this. I have Reading Magic. I was reading to DS every day before he was a month old. Singing nursery rhymes every day. Lots of chit chat, no nonsensical baby talk. I have been in tears over people implying that my parenting is not up to scratch and I am not stimulating DS enough. His speech is coming along now and he hasn't needed speech pathology in the end but I still question myself every single day.

DS qualified for a RCH Melbourne study into late speech and they were at pains to say that nobody actually knows WHY some children talk later than others and if parenting was to blame, it would be from parents who are borderline neglecting their children.

I do take comfort from the fact that I was late to talk and was considered gifted at school...and there is often a genetic factor involved in late talking.

Re the OP - the RCH speech pathologists told us the best way to stimulate children is to follow their lead. You might want to use DVDs or flash cards or whatever, but if your child wants to play trucks or sniff the flowers, they will actually learn more if you follow what they are interested in. Deliberate teaching (asking direct questions to "test" what they know, for example) tends to inhibit their language skills and it is much better to let them go with their own flow - they learn more language-wise and it encourages their imagination. You may feel like you are not doing anything productive by pretending to crash cars into each other etc but your child is having a whale of a time!

There is so much pressure on parents as well as kids these days to provide/receive the "right" kind of educational stimulation. I hate it. I'm a worrier anyway...and I hate it when I find that instead of enjoying my child I am worried that I my parenting is rubbish and DS will be a dunce at school because of me.

[Lulu]

(not saying this is the case for all, but definitely some)

Poor Emma. Remember the above quote!

The fact that there are many children unable to read or write as they progress through school and also Universities are putting on extra courses to help with SPELLING and GRAMMAR at that level, it seems apparent that there are alot of parents that don't do the simple things, or even go out of their way to help their children learn. Can we stop bashing poor Emma now?

[Curly]

I'm sorry Emma - I wasn't flaming you. I was just trying to demonstrate, using my experience, why some people were reacting to your initial comments. It is very difficult not to take general comments about parenting personally when you are in the situation that is being described. I know you weren't setting out to upset anyone.

Lulu - re spelling and grammar - another red rag for me! I am incredibly intolerant of bad spelling and grammar (and incorrect apostrophe usage) and any kid of mine that dares to write in textspeak will feel my wrath! LOL.

Don't want to go too off topic - but I agree that we all want the best for our kids and would love for them not to struggle at school, not to struggle socially etc and any kind of "head start" or advantage will always be investigated by caring parents. I still think that the best thing we can do is play with and stimulate our kids ourselves.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

You're looking at a generation of children who have been brought up by a generation of parents who were not taught grammar at school... and now we're having our own children. What hope do they have? Obviously the geek parents, like myself, but what about the normal people out there?

DS is a fantastic talker, his cousin not so much so (OK, not at all) until her mother put her in a nursery so she could have a couple of days off - no work, no child, just chilling. (Lucky rich thing!) BUT I talk to DS, I read to him... SiL (and PiL) think that the TV is great and invented for children. Niece was also not spoken directly to, whereas I chat to DS all the time. He now puts his finger to his mouth and says "ssssh" to me! DS interacts with the TV, but then I do too and we interact with it together. (Good thing Thomas is only 10 minutes long, I couldn't cope with much more "chuff chuff chuff chuff DOO DOO chuff chuff...")

Sure DS has some TV; if DH isn't around I need it so I can cook dinner. Most of the time we watch together, I ask DS what the character is doing, what the dog says, what the cat says... and make the noises too. We do all the dances and songs to the night garden together. DS loves it when we do the tombliboo dance and loves joining in with the circle on his hand to start with and the weird bandstand dance at the end.

I read DS his books, my books, magazines, make stories out of pictures, tell him a story about TV characters and DS meeting them (btw, never again is DS having a Night Garden adventure, too much excitement!).

DS is receiving the right start. He is stimulated and encouraged to learn. He gets to touch things and talk and be understood and explore, he dances, he plays... he's happy. Happiness shouldn't be underrated. Yes, he has bumps. Yes, he now needs more stimulating toys as the ones for his age are too easy. But he can use imagination and play with just a box for hours. He is considerate - he likes jumping in puddles so let's help the soft toy jump in puddles too! He is great at sharing toys and cuddling people who need cuddles. TBH, the fact he can recognise the first letter of his name is immaterial. That he isn't composing music on my piano... no biggie, he has fun with it. He says "quack" instead of "this is really exciting!" (ie "dractor... quack dractor!" or similar - whilst still knowing it's the noise a duck makes) but he makes sure he is understood.

Anyway, about TV/DVDs. They are not inherently educational. Passive learning is not learning. Some adults can do it, but children cannot. IF you talk about the DVD with them, sit with them, talk to them about what's happening, join in with the songs and dances... then yes, there is some value. But you can do that without the TV. Sometimes when I'm ill I can't - DS dances with the TV and sits on my knee while I explain what he's seeing or turn the TV off and tell a story. But plonking a child in front of an "educational" TV is NOT educational. They won't learn. You have to re-enforce what they're learning. I can teach DS to recycle by doing it myself FAR better than Tommy Zoom ever will. DS picks up litter and puts it in the bin when we're out and about... not because the TV sang a song about it, because he sees Mummy do it at the park and the carers at Nursery do it every Monday morning after the weekend mess.

Anyway, just my slant on it. TV can be OK, but only if you're there with it. Children's TV used to be called "watch WITH mother" for a good reason; now it's the "electronic babysitter" and used like this all the time it is detrimental. I've seen this with my Niece and with my own cousins; those children whose parents spend time with them seem to not only develop faster but have a love of learning later in life.

About early reading. I was reading early. I was frustrated when a teacher who didn't like me (she was marrying my dad's cousin and didn't like me before she started teaching me; the only teacher who didn't!) wouldn't let me read above where I was supposed to read. I HATED that year at school! But it didn't stop me reading books above my level at home. Because I was encouraged to do what I enjoyed and was bought not only stories but educational books and games so I could learn as I read and played.

[Lulu]

Oh don't even start me on speeling n grammer....

This article I read last week referred to the masses of resumes big companies get on a weekly basis, and how many have the most basic mistakes it's starting to worry employers!

My GF always struggled with school and reading, so when her own daughter was showing the same signs she did everything she could to help - reading to her every night, getting tutors and further assessments. It did make things a little better but at the end of the day her DD is not going to be a scholar. It doesn't worry her so much anymore - after all my GF is successful in business and can afford to live very nicely and she left school at 14!

I've had 2 bosses in million dollar companies that didn't finish year 8, so readin and ritin isn't the be all and end all, but if you spend that precious time teaching them as only a parent can they benefit from the comfort and security and will benefit ALWAYS in the long term.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Actually, Lulu, if you're writing to people who have brain disorders, some just cannot understand misspelt words. I have HUGE amounts of difficulty when someone can't get their/they're/there correct because it changes the whole sentence and I can't understand it when incorrect. "They're dog is red" - so are they a dog and red? That doesn't make sense! Seriously, it takes me about 3-5 minutes re-reading this to realise it should be "their dog is red" and it's so annoying.

Can't read text speak either or that "k882 spk" thing gamers do. To me, a number is a number. "U going out 4 dinner" - so "u" is having dinner at 4? Or four people for dinner? Who is "U" anyway? And was that a statement or a question?

If you want to communicate you have to do so clearly. Spelling and grammar should not be an optional extra. FWIW, when I am teaching, any teenager whose grammar is so poor I cannot read it will just be told as such in a big red pen and made to do it again. (I love my big red pen... DH hates it LOL.)

[Lulu]

I think my GF and her daughter may be dyslexic....umm second glass of wine here. From memory she could read better with peachy coloured lenses or something similar. Point being, she does have a learning difficulty but she got around it. Some kids just aren't going to find some learning easy but it doesn't mean they will fail in life.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

DH is very severely dyslexic too - I have to ask him what on earth he has written sometimes! It was easier for him to dictate and me to type when he wanted my input on his grammar and spelling for assignments - now he types and I check but it is so much harder, I have to wait for him to come home before I can do it. But he has told me off for trying to tell him the difference; he doesn't "have" to learn because he has a disability. Well, so do I, why should I have to learn things that other people should be doing correctly in the first place?

[mrsmac]

You'll be pleased to know Ryn, that grammar has come back in schools here. When I first started teaching we didn't teach it but now its in from Kindy onwards. My DD who is nearly 17 seems to have missed it completely though!!!

[Lulu]

Well my GF doesn't need to worry about the written word in her business and she pays others to do the books!

I ALWAYS send letters back with spelling mistakes etc corrected. Everyone hates me for it but I cant help it *shudder

[cia]

I bought the whole set of DVDs plus the books for my 10 month old baby about 4 months ago after becoming aware of them through the 9am show. My baby loves them and watches them avidly. In fact she hangs on every word they say. She also loves the songs the children sing. We can tell when she is bored of one and move her on to the next. In the set of 5 she's currently on the 4th DVD.

Whilst the DVDs have received more attention, the company states that they are only a backup to you teaching your child. They recommend you teach them facilitated by the books. She loves going through the books with me too. I sit with her each day and go through one book at least once a day.

I haven't "tested" her to see if she can read yet and I'm not going to ever. I have noticed however that she loves her books and reading and sits quietly and "reads" i.e. turns the pages of books considerately. We also sit on the computer too and I type words and she happily does this as I type up words she recognises in a large font. I swear she's totally enthralled by words. BTW We have bought her a number of DVDs including Wiggles, In the NIght Garden and the 24 Box set of Baby Einstein DVDs but none of these keep her interested for more than a few mins, nor does Sesame Street.

I believe that having a multi-faceted approach to your child's learning can't hurt as long as you vary your child's experiences and I'd prefer her to watch something like this than Sesame Street. I'd like to think that with these early experiences with words she will be confident when she does start pre-school. She's also a very active child and a very social child who has great language skills so far (she says alot of words cat, car, teeth, duck, mama and dada that I recognize). I'd also recommend a book titled "How Babies Think" a layman's book about how children learn. If you'd like to ask me any direct questions about them please don't hesitate.