I used to feed DD to sleep and when I stopped we put in place a night time routine of bath, pjs, books, cuddles and bed. To start with DH would put her to bed and stay with her for a few minutes then leave. If she cried we would go back in and pat/rock. We usually only went in about 5 times or less and within a week she was usually going to sleep by herself.

The other problem we had was night waking. We used to try to settle her and if nothing worked I would feed her. When she was about 12 months (I think) I decided I wouldn't feed her during the night anymore. It then became harder to settle her and we found that it was usually better just to leave her to cry for a little while. If the crying continues or sounds really urgent we go to her, but most of the time she soon goes back to sleep.

We just put DD in her cot for sleeps and leave her to go to sleep by herself. It can take up to an hour, but she is rarely upset, she just talks and jumps around until she goes to sleep.

I have Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall. I think it is quite good and I have used it to help me figure out when she does or doesn't need me and also timings of sleeps, meals etc.

I'm glad I read this thread, It is nice to know there are people with similar ideas to me. I know this is a 'gently parenting' website and what I do doesn't quite fit with that. But it suits my DD's temperament and results in a happy family overall.