I get what you're saying. With my younger children, I was at home 5 days a week - with no car, only public transport - we walked to do the groceries once a week & the park sometimes. Mostly we were at home & it drove me nuts.
These days, I work three days a week and the other two usually involve visiting people or doing grocery shopping or some other kind of running around. I very rarely get a full day at home & I treasure them.
As for the kids... I guess how much routine / stimulation they need is down to the individual. Pie does quite well going out a lot, I find if she does have more than two days straight at home she gets antsy. She seems to like the stimulation of being out & about. DS3 was the opposite, would have been quite happy to always be home.
So, we probably have one or two days at home a fortnight, that seems to suit us both very well. Meeting up with friends that have children is good, it gives us both company on our level. The hardest part is probably fitting in her sleep, she sleeps (very roughly) between 11 and 2 so if we're in the car anytime from 10:30 on she will drop off. I do try & work around that, and try to be home later afternoons so she can wind down but that doesn't always happen..
I get what you saying Fleur! I know what you mean about sleeps though - DS still sleeps for 3-4 hours a day so it is really hard to do anything in the afternoon (actually, impossible) so whatever we do is in the mornings anyway.
Hmmm.. well in that case I would kind of think that they would adapt to that routine in itself, of going out in the morning & then coming home for the afternoon.
Interesting blog post... not sure if I agree or not. Partly because I am one of those hwo has a really hard time just being at home, but also because I really see Pie as benefiting from getting out - after a few days at home she is cranky pants. Even if it's just a walk to the park, and a swing, it helps.
Is she like that because of me? because she has gotten used to being out & about? Maybe if I had stayed home more with her from the beginning it would be different?
What the auther of that post is saying about home, rings some kind of a bell within me.. but then I also think, if you're a mother who needs to be out a bit more, staying at home isn't necessarily going to help you be the best 'you' for your kids, either. Certainly not in my case.
Really interesting...
Alot of her posts are really interesting like this one. She is a Waldorf homeschooler and has very defined opinions on lots of stuff, but I love reading her posts because it really makes me stop and think and alot of the time, change some small aspect of what I do as a parent, usually for the better!!
I agree that your routine may include going out, and the kids get used to that and we all do what we need to do to get through each day.
I think in some ways alot of her focus is on the rounds of constant activity that some kids have from music lessons, sport lessons, academic school readiness programs etc. that fill each and every day before they even start school! I loved the thread Onyx started a while back about slow parenting - might have to see if I can dig them up.
Have to be honest at our current stage we just move through each day. Bedtimes vary as do sleep times and we try to face each challenge as it comes. If boredom creeps up with go out to play, draw, make cubbies or cook. Some day are just busy with shopping if visits. Things like meals are more routine as we just seem to have fallen into place with them. As DS 1 has gotten older we have noticed that more structure just seems to happen in our day.
If I had the sort of 3-year-old who would happily play with her dolls, do crafts, sit down and look at a book, go outside and play on her swings/slides or help me (in a kiddy way) with housework or just SLOW DOWN for two minutes, I'd be home more often. But DD1 won't do any of those things unless I do them with her and I simply can't play with her ALL DAY because I need to get other stuff done. The only way I can get stuff done is to put on the TV and I hate doing it.
So we go out. Often it's a trip to the playground or we go to the library, do grocery shopping or have a babycinno. If it's just me and DD1 we often walk into town, which is a 3km round trip as I see that as good exercise for her. The only set activity we have is on Fridays when she does swimming. Though I'll probably try to make story time at the library on Wednesdays a regular thing too. I prefer to go out mid-late morning and come back mid-late afternoon.
Basically, if we've been out, I feel less guilty about switching the TV on when I get home so I can get some housework done or dinner started.
Really good question Tan. I've been thinking about this too recently, as improving Annika's sleep came at the cost of spending a lot more time at home. I look at what he does at his FDC days, and I feel he could benefit from more of a sense of structure & routine on our home days. It's late & I'm stuffed, but I'll post this to remind me to come back to it!
Some points in the article I agree with, I am not one for lots of scheduled activities but I am not a believer in staying at home either.
This point is probably true
"but I often wonder if the children are just reflecting the discontent their mothers feel"
Children do reflect their parents feelings, and are also quite likely to be like there parents, and if you are the sort of person who gets cabin fever from staying in all day, then to me it follows that your child might be too (far better to embrace it than try and fight your natural instinct). When we go out it isn't to the shops (I hate shopping) and I don't feel the need to necessarily meet up with other people - I just like to get out. Living in a flat with no garden also means I think it is necessary for DD that we do, to the park, to the library, into the city but we do it all slowly - we go on public transport so the time spent getting there can be taken up with games and songs etc, often we just wander about with no specific purpose and DD finds ways to entertain herself and discover the world (e.g. Friday we were in the city on Southbank was a lovely day, she just wanders along climbs steps, goes round and round and round bicycle racks till she gets dizzy etc).
I am also though not a believer in routine, because I am not a routine person, and I also believe that it is important to be able to cope with change and I am not convinced that too much structure is a great thing (is the over emphasis on routine with children creating adults that are less adaptable to change?) - again though for some children routine will be necessary for both them and their parents, and also in the adult population there is the need for very routine people as well as people who most comfortable with a dynamic environment, but I think children are more adaptable to change than often given credit for. We haven't needed a routine with DD so that has given a lot of flexibility in terms of if we are out and about we don't need to rush around. Who knows what DS will be like - might require a totally different approach but unless things are not working I intend to try and do the same.
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