19 week old does not sleep through the night - please help!

[zwan87]

I also think its normal for the age m y 14mnth old still wakes twice through the night. It gets difficult when i used to compare him to my friends dream babys who slept through every ones different. Then again maybe you could change the cycle. Let us know how you go.

[Fleur]

Hi & welcome to BB

My 10 month old still wakes every night, as did my other three kids. None of them slept through until well after 12 months.
It sounds to me like he just needs his 3am feed.

Good suggestion from Ginger as to other authors...The Science of Parenting is great reading.

Good luck

[~Hestia~]

I think at 19 weeks it's pretty normal for babies to wake for feeds. If it's just for a feed and your DD is straight back to sleep I probably wouldn't change anything at this point.

[Janie]

Can I gently suggest that if you have a baby that 'only' feeds four hourly that you thank your lucky stars???

Seriously, that is completely normal baby behaviour. Perhaps reading some of the books that Ginger has mentioned to you will help you to feel more comfortable with your baby's feeding and waking patterns. It's so hard with your first baby, you don't really know what to expect, and they are ALL different. And don't come with a manual LOL! Honestly, there are so many babies out there that feed 2 hourly, or more often. If your baby feeds four hourly and thrives, you are one lucky mama . Even formula fed babies can wake often, despite the myths that they sleep better (usually not true). At least if you're breastfeeding you CAN breastfeed your baby back to sleep. FF mummies have to use other means if their baby has woken for reasons other than food. Babies wake for lots of reasons.........it sounds like yours wakes for a feed, and then is happy to resettle?

Oh, and good work on your breastfeeding efforts, sounds like you're doing a great job

[krisp]

Oh dear, I hate to say but 19 weeks is totally normal to still be waking like this. My DD is 2 and a half ans still only sleeps through a couple of night a week. Hang in there, I know it's rough....

[didispunk]

My first didnt sleep through until 8 months.. was a habit the 3am feed..

[MantaRay]

Hun, as the others have said, babies are supposed to wake in the night at that age. They have tiny tummies and are growing and developing at a huge rate. Of course they need to feed frequently. Unfortunately, many of the so-called baby experts give parents unrealistic expectations, and often set up families for more problems when they talk about routines etc. One thing you mentioned in particular is about your baby substituting you for a dummy. Actually, dummies are all too often used as a substitute for mum. Babies and mums are designed by nature to be together all the time - frequent skin-to-skin contact and feeding set up all sort of positive responses like maintaining milk supply, and a feeling of security for the baby. Babies are used to feeding 24/7 in the womb - how could we expect them to come out and be happy about waiting until we are ready to feed them?

It sounds to me like you are doing a really great job, and have good instincts. Throwing away Save Our Sleep and trusting yourself might make things easier for you. All the best hun.

[ss_storm]

Even formula fed babies can wake often, despite the myths that they sleep better (usually not true).

Yep, DD is FF and still wakes at least once a night, sometimes twice a night. Just give it time, at 4 months your little one is still just that, little, and chances are probably needs those feeds. Sleep deprivation is hard, but try and enjoy the nightly snuggles, one day you'll probably miss that time!

[MrsFabuloso]

At that age, both my DD and DS were feeding 2-3hrly at the least!! I agree it is totally normal for your bub to need feeds through the night still. DS is bf and DD was ff, so the formula made no difference at all.

And I might add that even at 22mths, my DS is still waking through the night 1-2 times, even my 3yr old will still wake at times too!

[gerry1980]

Thanks for your input guys. Janine - thank you for your gentle suggestion. I just need to think of the positives and not get bogged down in the sleep deprivation a glass half full approach instead of the glass half empty lol! Yes we are very lucky to have a DS (oops - I think i refered to our DS as DD in my original post !!) that sleeps and only wakes to feed.

Thank you all for your encouragement. we will persevere and get some other input from the authors suggested.

[Ginger]

how is everything going gerry?
did you find some of the other books to help you?

[Lily Dust]

Hi Gerry

Its very confusing when you have a little newborn who sleeps so perfectly and then they change over night and are waking all the time. My DD as a newborn used to sleep at least 8 hours feed and back to sleep for another 4! At 17 weeks she started to feed every 3 hours for a period of time and then went back to her usual self. Could your DS perhaps be experiencing a growth spurt and need the extra boobie to help with his growing bones. I believe that this will pass soon hun once he gets past whatever his little upset is, it may be he is gonna grow 3 inches this week! Have you heard of wonder weeks? There is a book based on these and 19 weeks is one of those weeks, so perhaps that is what going on. I also bought the SOS book and have since tossed it the same place your dummy went, go with what your heart tells you to do.... you really are doing great.

[onthefly]

Glad you're feeling a bit better about things. I think sometimes it's necessary to adjust our expectations a bit. We're told all sorts of things about what babies 'should' be doing and there's all kinds of 'receieved wisdom' about what's normal, but little of it actually corresponds to real-life experience.
19 weeks and feeding 4 hourly, waking only to feed and sleeping well otherwise = very very good sleeper!
Just give him time - I honestly doubt you need to do anything, he'll get there soon enough.

[gerry1980]

Hi Ginger,

thanks for the follow up - I managed to get to the library yesterday and have a copy of sleeping like a baby. Wow what an eye opener, thank you so much for the advice! Last night was another rough one - with DS waking every 2 hours for a feed, perhaps i will investigate these wonder weeks......

I must say the response i have received from my little post has been so positive and wonderful. Thank you ladies.
xo

[beckoes]

my 22 month old feeds at 7pm, 2am, 4am, and 6am. we co-sleep so it doesnt really bother me much. i think at 19 weeks they are still growing SO much and will go throw stages of feeding more often. also every baby is so different, i gave up on the books pretty quickly as i just found that the presure of trying to make DD fit in to the form the books laid out was more stressfull than any issue i was trying to cure! sounds like your doing a great job! good luck.

[Ginger]

that's great news gerry!
maybe you should join a baby buddies group here on bb for the month that your ds is born. that way you can talk to other mums of babies the same age as yours.

maybe someone smarter than me could post a link here for gerry? LOL

[gerry1980]

great idea. thanks Ginger. I'll look into that today....