Just a couple of ideas - I have been thinking of S since you mentioned this in our thread the other day.

Do you think she might be overtired/overstimulated...perhaps changing the activity for 45 mins before rest time OR moving rest time so that it's EARLIER might help. Missy E only ever resists when she's overtired, kwim?

Could you encourage a quiet rest time without it having to be about sleeping? Things like lying down on the flipout sofa, hopping into bed with some books, or a CD/tape to listen to all work with toddlers. It will take the stress out of it being about 'sleeping' but hopefully still give you a peace and quiet window.

My DD1 was still having a quiet rest right up until she started Kindy at age 4. Once she stopped needing a sleep she still knew the deal was that after lunch you go and spend some quiet time in your bedroom/on the FDC's couch - lying down, relaxing. Even now I occasionally send her for a 'rest' when she's in a foul mood.

HTH