I could have written your post myself I'm sure the neighbours think I'm trying to kill DS at nappy change time he screams so loud and kicks and twists and flips, we've also had poo where poo shouldn't be, and I'm always hoping I'm not hurting him when I try to hold him still!

I try to find something he's either not allowed to have or that he's never seen before, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't
When it's time for a full change I sometimes undress and dress in parts, so while he's sitting on my lap I'll try to take his top off etc... so by the time we get to nappy at least it's only nappy screaming then try to get the clothes on by waiting til he's sitting up playing, this doesn't always work either.

I have also found baby legs to be great, then there's no worry of pants on and off at nappy change.

I also gave up the change table ages ago, it got way too scary!