DH doesn't get up in the night when he is working - he gets up at 6 and doesn't get home til 6 so in a way I don't expect him to. Having said that though, there are exceptions, the "she doesn't like me" is a cop out for sure. DH used to walk Iz around the house sometimes for up to an hour to get her to sleep at nights while I went to bed and that was after a day at work. He loved the time with her even if she was Miss Cranky Pants. On the weekends I would give him one sleep in day and I would have one too - but we often compromise.
If I have had a cr@ppy nights sleep(most nights right now) he will get up with her (he's been home from work for a few weeks) no matter what time she gets up. We also have to change nappies in the night to stop her wetting through. Most times DH falls asleep on the couch and comes to me to get me up to do it when he comes to bed - recently I have put my foot down and said he is up anyway. He worries because we have to wake her to do it and worries he can't get her back down - he did it a few times this week without a hassle though so I think he proved to himself that he can do it.
As a PP mentioned hun, feeding isn't all there is to motherhood and I think if you both sit down and talk about how she can help you most it would be good for both of you. It is tough hun and I hope you can come to an arrangement where both of you feel good about it all. She might be feeling a bit left out too but that is no excuse and spending more time with Jaz will help with that anyway.
At the start with our little ones, I didn't get up at night. We rarely had to change them over night - didn't find we needed to, they seemed to poo at mostly socially acceptable hours - and as they were BF, Victoria always said there was little point in me being awake as well.
I used to get up with them in the morning and take them out into the house so that she could sleep.
When we had to put Olivia in formula, I started getting up in the night, and haven't really stopped since. I'm sure with #3 we'll go back to Victoria getting up for night time feeds.
Leash, I don't think it matters what other people do. If you're not happy with how things are, then you and Shel need to talk and work something out. How about you get a weekend lie in? (where Shel brings bub to you, you feed, and then Shel takes bub while you go back to sleep) Or express for weekends so you can sleep through one feed?
My partner would get up, grab bub, sleep while I fed, then take bub back, change him and put him to bed. He probably didn't help as much with our first, but that's cos I could nap during the day with only one baby. I can't now, and things are very equal this time around.
That's just how our relationship works though, through discussion and negotiation. Other people's relationships and arrangements work differently. You have to figure out what works for you guys, what you both can be happy with.
She might be feeling a bit left out too but that is no excuse and spending more time with Jaz will help with that anyway.
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