sleep signals help pls

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

It's awful when you come away from what should be a supportive phone call feeling that you are doing it all wrong! You are not! Most of us respond to our baby's cues and behaviours. Some babies are more "wired" than others - and there is a world of difference between knowing their sleep cues and being able to do something about it. What you are describing - just being too 'busy" to sleep is typical for this age. Go, and pick up as many tips as you can - but don't let them make you feel bad about your perfectly well adapted breastfeeding, co-sleeping darling. My top tip for daytime naps - put them in the babysling and go for a quick walk. There may be initial protest - but they will quickly and easily settle down for a good sleep

[Softy]

Thanks for your reply Barb, I feel like crying at the mo cause I'm so tired, your reply has made me feel better. I do have a hug a bub so will put her in that to try to 'force' another nap during the day. The nurse at the school said she should be having 2-3 naps per day!! So I'll give the sling a go as you suggested to try to get her to have an extra nap. I have noticed that if I hold her for 1/2 an hour or so when I think she's tired to 'slow down' her heart rate, the b/feed she can fall asleep so fingers crossed the sling works! Thanks again

[jackrose]

What a horrible experience when you are already tired and stressed! I can't believe how insensitive and lacking in compassion some people can be, even when in the health industry. I am sorry for you that you were made to feel so bad.

From what you described it sounds as if you are doing everything right really. I think that maybe you are going through the really common challenges of a growing baby. Often as babies get older and change, sometimes they need slightly different routines, slightly different techniques and tricks to help them sleep and sometimes they fight it as they try to figure out the new rules of the game we call sleep. You are the best person to read your baby and I am sure you know her signs back to front. However if she is having trouble settling when she is tired, the signs don't really help do they!

Barb's advice is fantastic (of course!!)

and there is a world of difference between knowing their sleep cues and being able to do something about it.

And as she suggested, sleep schools can be helpful to get tips that you can use at your whim. If you are feeling sleep deprived and stressed it can be difficult to take the tips if you don't agree with them or if they are offered in way that makes you question yourself as a mother so it is a bit of a catch-22 situation... Just remember that you have made it this far with a well cared for little girl and you will make the right decisions and get through this because you have her best interests at heart. I can't stress that enough.

I feel like crying at the mo cause I'm so tired

I felt exactly the same way as you when my dd was the same age... in fact I was crying, often. It was so hard to be at the stage of extreme sleep deprivation and with an overtired baby when nearly at the 1 year mark. I thought that only happened in the early stages . I went to sleep school and it made the WORLD of difference for me. The background help, tips and tricks and info about sleep that they gave me really helped me to design a sleep routine that worked for us and I was able to implement their advice in a way that worked with my gentle parenting approach. One of the big things I did was be consistent. I decided I would bunker down for a week and really do this sleep settle thing and put my dd down for 2 naps and stop bf at night (she was at the stage of feeding every sleep cycle to re-settle so sometimes every 30-40 min ) I started to introduce some wind down activities before I put her down for a nap, (as Barb suggested a walk in a sling is great, I sometimes used a trip to the cafe -coffee sanity for me - with a car ride home which calmed her) Then I just consistently put her to bed and gave her sleep cues until she settled (or for at least an hour during 'nap time'). She actually took to it really well and I found I was able to enjoy being a mum so much more when we were both less tired and stressed.

Softy, it is a really difficult thing to deal with and I am here if you want to ask any more questions about my experience. I hope you find something here that helps.