With most things we have tried we have done it for a week, the first 4 days are great, they work, the last 3 days are hell and back to step 1 again.
We are seeing a chiro for Isabell, he has done wonders, but sleep just isnt one of those wonders.
I do think its a possibility she is teething, but really how can you be certain unless one pops up?? Til then it could be anything.
She wants to suck, i know it, but anything she tries to suck on isnt good enough. Dummies nope, blankie nope, fingers nope. We do have a comfort toy in the corner of her cot that she can see..but i dont think it does anything for her.
Sometimes i am lucky and can get her to play for a bit, but thats not what i need, what i need is for her to stop crying all day and sleep so that inbetween sleeps she can be happy and enjoyable and i can enjoy being a mum. ATM im not coz all i have is a screaming baby.
Yesterday she rolled from her back o her tummy, i was happy, but then the crying started and that was put to the back of my mind, and its like it hasnt hapened. I want to enjoy and chrish these moments like every one says to. but how can i when she is so unpleasant and difficult??
Meg - I don't think youre doing anything wrong darl
I hate to tell you but DD didn't really sleep during the day till she was mobile (4/5mths) but she was a great sleeper at night!
I know its frustrating when you need a break during the day, and then you get stressed, then she gets stressed... then its another horrible day
Hang in there - it won't be like this forever! I'm sorry, I know this isn't really what you want to hear... just know that youre not alone, and try and look after yourself - have you got family/friends that can help out some days so you can have a break?
I really hope things get better for you soon
Meg, you can enjoy it the same way I do when I've been up literally all night (11-5 some nights) and DS just smiles at me. Doesn't make you less tired but you realise that they aren't doing it to spite you. And your memories: I remember DS rolling over. I don't remember that he'd been up all night the night before, I don't remember the tiredness I felt, I don't still feel irritation that DH couldn't turn around from his fish for two seconds to see it when I realised he was going to roll over this time after trying all afternoon. You honestly do just blot out the bad things.
You're tired. I know this is going to sound harsh but you're a mum - did you expect to be well rested? Once you stop demanding YOUR rest it gets a LOT easier. I know, I have to remind myself of that a LOT too. My stamina with DS's sleep amazed my friends but a LOT of it has to do with expectation: I expected no sleep for a year so getting just 4 hours meant I was quids in. After the first year I did get cross! It doesn't mean you don't want sleep and you never lose it, nor does it mean you don't want a "perfect" child, but acceptance means you don't feel quite so tired.
Headphones on and out for a walk. You'll de-stress and have time to yourself, even if you are on the go, and your relaxing will maybe help sleep.
Failing that, just change the routine every four days. She's too young to remember what happened three weeks ago so just cycle the routine every four days.
I hope I'm not coming across as a meanie here, I do feel for you, but I do think that sometimes just going with the flow and not demanding your child to change to suit you is the answer.
But im not tired, its not that im tired, its that i cant handle the crying, i cant fight her to sleep. I get 8-10 hours a sleep at night, so its not sleep that i want or need, its sleepo that isabell needs.
Im going to keep trying, but if i go MIA, assume that im in a padded cell!
Meg, I know it's hard. My DS fought sleep 24 hours a day from 2 months til 13 months. He still doesn't love it, but it's better
I have to agree with the others, she will be picking up on your stress. The harder you try, the less likely she is to go to sleep. And I hate to say it, but it seems that the babies who sleep through as young as Isabell, often don't sleep well during the day. Put her in the pram, stick the earphones in and go for a walk. Keep trying the slings (I would have thought the HAB would be more comfy for her that the BB), sometimes bubbas just need to get used to these things before settling down. Try it when YOU are relaxed. If you're putting her in it out of total desperation she will likely pick up on that and freak out. Go for a walk with her in the carrier.
Sometimes we just can't change them. They might be little, but they are people, with personalities, and trying to make things different usually ends up stressing us out, because it simply doesn't work. I wish I'd given up fighting it earlier with my DS, and spent less time stressing and worrying about his sleep (or lack of). I know it's very hard when you're sleep deprived, but sometimes there's nothing you can do. As RF said, she's not doing it to spite you..........she's just a little baby, crying is her only way of communicating.
I read somewhere once that if the method you're using to put them to sleep doesn't work within 20 minutes, it probably won't work at all. It seems pretty true to me. Persisting past that amount of time would usually lead to tears for both of us. But if I stopped, played with him, whatever, and then came back and tried again, sometimes we would have success. It's worth a go anyway. Hang in there, it will get better, that is for sure.
Hey Meg - big for you, cos this whole parenting thing can be the toughest gig in town.
Just reading your last post, where you said it was the crying that gets to you, maybe you need to change your focus slightly - forget about the sleeping, just concentrate on what you need to do to get her to stop crying. This way you're not fighting her, you're just comforting her, and you never know, the sleep might just follow. It's just a subtle change, but it might help you to find a level of calmness & control that you don't feel like you have at the moment.
Also, there's quite a lot of stuff written about the 4 month change - and looking at Isabells ticker, she's pretty close to 4 months. Maybe do a search on BB for threads about this stage, it might give you some hope/help.
I know it's probably hard to believe, and maybe a bit annoying to have people saying it to you, but it seriously does get better, or at least you get more experienced at managing it. There's so much that's changing in their 1st six months, but it does start to settle eventually, you will get there, and this phase will become just a vague memory. Then you'll have another bub....
Meg I just wanted to send you a huge My DD is a shocker (still...sorry) for day sleeps and yep fights me tooth and nail, screaming backarching and yep I have days when i wonder how to enjoy her.
I agree with what a couple of others have said about "relaxing" if you are the smallest bit stressed/frustrated whatever they do pick up on it and use the pram...i go out for her first day sleep and she will just drift off (took a few weeks of "tanties") 99% of the time and if we dont go out or go later than she is off kilter and i can pretty much write off sleep for the day.
I have recently found that reading...my books, DS's books, made up stories...seems to help her drift off...i cradle her and rock slowly and gentle pat the bum while reading and keep my voice at the same volume and she will go to sleep much easier...however sometimes i have to let her sleep in my arms as she has days of absolute bed refusal like today
I hope something works for you soon as i really do know how hard it must be for you atm.
Thanks so much everyone.
Im going to go MIA for a while, so i can figure and sort this out for myself. I will be back though.
Thanks so much for all your support and advice
Meg, I know you are MIA, so I don't know when you will get this, but I just wanted to give you my love and support and big hugs. I don't know the answer to what's going on, but I sure feel bad for you! I think you are doing a great thing by spending some time working out what you think is going on and trusting your mummy instinct.
Anywho, I really hope it all gets better soon for you. Miss you in chat!
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks