toddler discipline and behaviour

[krysalyss]

We read a really good book on parenting (not specifically toddler) called heart to heart parenting by Robin Grille. Highly recommend it because it helped us work out how we wanted to parent so we could then apply that to day to day life.

But anyway as for discipline. I have a couple of quick recommendations from what works for us -
Firstly remember that kids learn by example so if you don't want them to hit, then don't hit. If you want them to stay calm during conflict then stay calm.
Secondly - Make sure your rules are based on logic. When they are testing your boundaries they are testing your logic. Keep your reasons and directions short (e.g. don't climb - it's dangerous!). And only stick to the rules that really matter - too many rules and they just switch off.
Thirdly - Know the realities of where they are at developmentally. Is it realistic to have them stuck in a pram for an hour while you shop? What can you do to make it more pleasant for them?
Fourthly - Stick to your guns. If you have made a logical decision then stick to it. You don't have to be the person who yells the loudest - you have to be the person who is the most stubborn.

I forgot to add that any consequences really should be related somehow to the action they are doing where possible. E.g. if they are throwing their toys, the toy is put away for a while. If they are climbing on the table, the get taken off, then moved away if they keep doing it. etc. That will help them see cause and effect relationships of their behaviour as adults as well. We only really use time-out for safety issues - e.g. if DS hits the dog he is removed for the dog's safety and DS is not allowed to play with him.
I hope this helps. We all have days when you feel like ripping your hair out. But providing kind, calm and respectful discipline at this age will help you build your relationship for the long run.