Uh oh! I think we 'broke' our baby...

[Miss E]

Sloane, I was going to go to Baby Bunting, but thought i would try elsewhere, I think I'll be making a trip over tomorrow. I also think I'll try an early nap tomorrow, I've always tried to stretch him till around 11.30am, but maybe one early in the day will work better... fingers crossed anyways...

Thanks Rowellen, I'm definately going to give the pillow a try, then maybe try taking the side off the cot if I get really desperate. Our cot is an oval shape, so I'm pretty sure he wouldn't fall out cos when the side comes out there isn't that much space if that makes sense. After a few days of being back we did try to see what would happen if we just left him like you said. The minute he realised we were gone he'd start screaming. It's funny, cos he doesn't cry, he more yells iykwim? when I go in he doesn't have tears, he just lays right down as if to say 'Im ready to go to sleep' but if I leave again he's up and screaming and it will go on for hours with us going in and out. I feel awful saying it, but the day after we did that he lost his voice, made me feel like such a mean mummy!

[Rowellen]

You're not a mean mummy! Maybe he just needs you there for a while. Once his routine is re-established, it might get easier. As you said, you were gone for a month, completely changed everything he knew and he's grown up a lot in that time. It must be very frustrating for you, but I think, if you work with his needs, encourage him and keep reassuring him, he'll eventually learn that you are still there for him even if you're not in the room ITMS?

[Miss E]

You're not a mean mummy! Maybe he just needs you there for a while. Once his routine is re-established, it might get easier. As you said, you were gone for a month, completely changed everything he knew and he's grown up a lot in that time. It must be very frustrating for you, but I think, if you work with his needs, encourage him and keep reassuring him, he'll eventually learn that you are still there for him even if you're not in the room ITMS?

That's what I'm hoping, fingers crossed.

[MamaPan]

Hi Babe
In a bit of a rush so can’t write too much but will try to pop back later if I can.
Well, I am also not the best person re sleep as both my boys have been shockers (that said J slept thru last night and sun night, the only times ever so far). J’s sleep is improving a lot now…
I do think this is partly an age thing, I have noticed chgs over time with J and at the moment I think they are developing so much they know they are tired but they are also really aware that they are ‘missing out’ when they are asleep. I make sure J knows we will all be going to bed soon (at night)… in case that helps (they understand so much)
J has a pillow and LOVES it. It is a Sheridan kids one and is v small and flat. Ikea also have good kids ones for the cot. He is also in a sleeping bag but I use a v light cot quilt – we sometimes pull it over him (even w the bag, we use the merino ones) and sometimes it is just there at the bottom of his cot. He seems to find it comforting. And recently we got him a little toy tyo cuddle, which he likes (but this is prob more bc his older bro has toys in his bed!).
I often sit with him while he sleeps, but I tell him I will leave if he plays/gets up. Sometimes I have to leave na dhe gets upset but then I go back in and he is more likely to sleep. I sometimes give him some water at night. Generally I ask him what he wants… but tell him it is still sleep time.
We went oseas for a couple of weeks and it took about a week for him to settle at home again – it also coincided w going back to crèche after3 weeks with us – all the adjustment messed with him for a week or so…
I hate to say this, but I have just weaned in the last week – and this has helped night waking (or it is a coincidence)
Hope that rambling helps… (my main thoughts is it is an age thing and the disruption from travel…)
ps in reading back - guess i did have time for a full reply LOL

[~Raven~]

It took a couple of months for our DD to go back to self settling after a 10 day holiday where she shared our bed. What did it for us was getting her out of the cot and into a bed. I settled her in the bed and often stayed till she was asleep, then left.

[Miss E]

It took a couple of months for our DD to go back to self settling after a 10 day holiday where she shared our bed. What did it for us was getting her out of the cot and into a bed. I settled her in the bed and often stayed till she was asleep, then left.

OMG a couple of months... Here I was hoping for a couple of weeks. So did you go to a big girl bed? Or did you put her to sleep in your bed?

[MamaPan]

J wasnt having a feed before bed for a while ( we moved to DH putting to bed for the most part) but always had a 4.30ish feed (sometimes 3.30ish)... i think when he woke in th enight it was like 'is it time for that yet???'. he was clawing at me all the time in the day trying to feed and it was a major comfort thing for him (but was becoming hard for me to manage - different issue/circumstance). iot wasnt as hard asi thought to wean him - maybe you can get rid of those feeds using your DH to help - i decided it was time when the feeds werent a sleep cue...
he is in the merino kids bags (the ones from nz). i love them. his fits ok but he isnt so big (only just hitting 10kg). i think i will buy one a size bigger soon and see how we go. i know with DS1 i bought some bigger bags and then he gave them up!
some sep advice - DS1 was a terrible sleeper - we moved him to a bed at 19 months (a king single so a big boy bed) and this created a much more positive experience for him (and me!). i used to lie down and settle him and then leave. it chgd things a lot for us. but he never really liked his cot! i have also heard of people putting a mattress on the floor and that helping a lot too....

[Miss E]

Thanks Mama Pan, glad to hear J is sleeping much better! Ash has also just gone back to creche this week, and DH has only gone back to work this week, so I think all of that is coming into play as well...

Do you use the Merino Kids sleeping bags? Thats what we've got, but I'm starting to think the 0-2 years ones are a bit small. Is J in the 2-4yrs ones yet? I'm thinking I'll invest in the bigger size and hope that that helps, mind you I don't really want to spend all those $$$ only to find he doesn't like sleeping bags anymore...

It's interesting you say that the weaning has helped too. I've been thinking for awhile I'd like to wean soon. At the moment he just has a feed before bed at night and one in the morning when he wakes up (mind you of late this has slipped back to about 4.30am when I give up and bring him to bed with us). But I do find sometimes when he wakes at night he is demanding a BF and I have to get DH to come in and settle him... I was actually thinking yesterday that maybe I would try dropping his bedtime feed, cos at the moment he's not really seeing it as a sleep cue iykwim?