Budgeting for cigarettes..

[blessedatlast]

Now that DF and I are living together and I am not working I am really starting to notice how much he spends on smokes. It's never bothered me before but maybe because he isn't working much and we are broke it's driving me nuts. I feel like I will miss out on things or sacrifice things to try and save $$ yet he thinks nothing of buying a pack a day.. Also when we have previously lived together I have been a smoker too except for when I was pregnant, but even then I used to buy cheap smokes and he always buys his winfield which are expensive. I know he wont give up and everytime I say something about $ he just says we'll be right.. Cigarettes are a necessity for him so he doesn't get how frustrated I am!!!!

How do others cope when their partner smokes and they don't??

[Lulliloo]

we just went through a really tough time with money too and my dh smokes and drinks. it was very hard to make him understand the things that i was sacrifising to support his habits. we used to get in lots of fights about it.
i just dont' think they think that far ahead or figure that we are surviving so thats all that matters. but meanwhile i was missing out on everything and he was getting everything he wanted.

hope you work something out. i don't really have any advice coz nothing worked for me.

[Jellybean29]

Feed him baked beans on toast and tell him you can't afford the luxury of 'meat' because you need to budget for his ciggies

[Diamond75]

Perhaps buy a blank exercise book, label each page for each week and on each page write down the income for that week then get him to work out how the bills are going to be paid and when and get him to write it down in the book on the allocated page. Once he sees in front of him that you both can't afford to maintain his cigarettes and drinks it may help. Let him see clearly that your expenses are more than your income. Good luck Hun.

[Traveller]

For me I would see it as an addiction, so I begrudgingly budget accordingly. It sucks but he will not give up or even cut down until he is ready.

[emc2]

We split up.

I never moved in with him, but I worked out he would have spent more than what I spent getting ready for the baby to come - on ciggies. It would be something like $6000 a year. Fair enough if you have the income to cover it, but not if you are struggling.

[blessedatlast]

Feed him baked beans on toast and tell him you can't afford the luxury of 'meat' because you need to budget for his ciggies

That wont work. I'm on bed rest so he has to do the shopping and he does most of the cooking.. Actually maybe him doing the shopping will at least let him see that living isn't cheap.

Perhaps buy a blank exercise book, label each page for each week and on each page write down the income for that week then get him to work out how the bills are going to be paid and when and get him to write it down in the book on the allocated page. Once he sees in front of him that you both can't afford to maintain his cigarettes and drinks it may help. Let him see clearly that your expenses are more than your income. Good luck Hun.

Again hard to do.. He earns different amounts each week which makes it hard to budget. His work is up and down ATM which is what stresses me. At least when we had my income it was stable and I could budget that, but that's gone now

For me I would see it as an addiction, so I begrudgingly budget accordingly. It sucks but he will not give up or even cut down until he is ready.

I agree. I know he wont give up, I just wish he would buy cheaper smokes. Or when we are at the end of the pay week, buy rollies or something!! Why buy the most expensive cigarettes??

Thanks for the advice. I think I just need to know I am not alone in my frustration lol

[Blixie]

make him buy a winfield pouch (rollies) so still the tobacco brand he likes but cheaper/lasts longer?
I was the smoker back before children and i honestly don't know how DP put up with the smell let alone the costs!
Good luck
ETA: I'd only buy a pack of horizon 50's which back then were $15 then rollies for the rest of the week? maybe he could do that? So still have "tailor made" but not only tailor made IYKWIM?

[Lulliloo]

i also made dh swap to rollies. heaps cheaper. he now still smokes them .

[Leopard]

Okay I am a smoker (Please do not attack me for being a pregnant smoker, I have cut back quite a lot).
Ciggerettes are a huge expense, especially if he is smoking a pack a day. Winfield, is as you say, quite expensive! Try suggesting he buy 50g packets of rolling tobacco, it is not as convieniant (which makes you smoke less) and last a lot longer. If he prefers tailor-mades then suggest he goes to the local tobacconist and buy a tailor-made machine (it comes with the tailor-made outside and a little thing that allows you to push tobacco into them). Also John Player Special seems to be one of the cheapest tobaccos at the moment, so maybe ask if he would be willing to try it?

Sorry I could not be of much more help.

[Butterfly Dawn]

Rollies and a pack of taylors a week is resonable. Mayb bring it up with him, start with requesting cheap rollies all the time and work up to winfield tabaco- even with taylor made machine, and a pack a week of taylors as your compremise. He needs to be alittle resonable in this. Addiction or not its a luxury for you guys at the moment that is costing alot.
Perhaps alos do a budget with him and say- when our income is over $... you can go back to smoking whatever you like but when its under $... this is what we can afford Then hopfully he can see the logic

If hes doing a good job of caring for you while your resting Im sure there is a resonable way for this to be resolved, its just how you sell it to him- and when, you gotta pic your moments I think

Good luck

[tracyh]

Aimz, the Dr told my sister NOT to quit when she was pg as the stress of her quiting the smokes would actually cause more stress on the baby.

[Jellybean29]

Aimz, the Dr told my sister NOT to quit when she was pg as the stress of her quiting the smokes would actually cause more stress on the baby.

Who is your sister's doctor? Dr. Nick Riviera from The Simpsons?!

Research has found that potential effects of smoking during pregnancy include an increased chance of genetic abnormalities. There has been associations made between pregnant women smoking and increased chance of cleft lip, cleft palate, problems with bowel, eyes, ears and spinal cord. There are also increased abnormalities found with the placentas. The effects of smoking goes beyond the birth. There have been links made between women smoking during pregnancy and their children developing respiratory problems, such as asthma, later in childhood.

Some of the most harmful cigarette components for pregnant women and their babies is thought to be nicotine, carbon monoxide and cyanide. These substances have been found to cross the placenta and reach the baby. One of the most concerning effects of smoking during pregnancy is that the baby’s growth is restricted. A baby of a woman who smokes weighs on average 170 to 200 grams lighter.

Smoking during pregnancy also increases the risk of ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, problems with the placenta, vomiting requiring hospitalisation, bleeding during pregnancy, polyhydramnios (too much amniotic fluid), thrush, urinary tract infections and premature birth. Again the more the woman smokes, the higher the risk of complications.

[Butterfly Dawn]

BBB- I have heard alot of dr say -dont give up your addictions when preg because of the stress it can cause mum and baby. think its an indivual thing- if you think you can quit when preg then do if not...

[Lenny]

Sorry guys, i can't see any dr telling an alcoholic, a drug addict or a smoker that quitting will do more harm than good.
Now, perhaps giving up buying shoes...that's a whole different kettle of fish.

[Jellybean29]

BBB- I have heard alot of dr say -dont give up your addictions when preg because of the stress it can cause mum and baby. think its an indivual thing- if you think you can quit when preg then do if not...

If you are really stressed with quiting a Doctor MAY tell you that just reducing the level is better? I think maybe this is what the doctor meant?

However there is no safe level of smoking. Woman should still be encouraged to quit. Even reducing the amount of cigarettes smoked, still exposes the baby to harmful substances.
I would find it more believable if the doctor had said to your sister, "if you are unable to stop smoking completely - it is important to remember ‘the less you smoke, the less effects on the baby’. "

[Aimz]

From the Smokefree Women website... Just adding a useful 2 cents worth, and apologies if it's off topic.

Myths about Smoking and Pregnancy
Myth: "It is less stressful on the baby for me to continue smoking."
Truth: Smoking during pregnancy does not help you or the baby.

Myth: "Smoking fewer cigarettes during pregnancy is good enough."
Truth: There is no safe level of smoking. Even a few cigarettes a day means many poisons are hurting you and your baby’s health. It is never too late to quit. Quitting at any time is likely to reduce the bad effects of smoking on your baby. But quitting early means a better start to life for your baby.

Myth: "I am 3 months pregnant. What's the point of quitting now? The damage is done."
Truth: There are benefits to quitting at any time in your pregnancy. If you quit now, your risk of having a low-weight baby will be similar to that of a non-smoker.1

Myth: "There is nothing wrong with having a low-weight baby—it just means a quicker and easier birth."
Truth: A smaller baby is more likely to become stressed during birth, leading to a harder delivery. Labor with a small, under-weight baby is no easier or shorter than labor with an average-sized baby. Low-birth-weight babies are more likely to have serious health problems than normal-weight babies.

Myth: "Smoking relaxes me, and being relaxed is better for my baby."
Truth: You may feel calmer when smoking; but the results inside your body are the opposite. Smoking speeds up your heart rate, increases your blood pressure, and weakens your nervous system. Every puff of a cigarette puts chemicals into your bloodstream, making less air available to your baby.

Myth: "If I stop smoking, I'll put on too much weight."
Truth: During pregnancy, you need more calories to meet the needs of your growing baby and to keep you healthy. This means eating different kinds of healthy foods. Ask your doctor how much weight gain is healthy for you and your baby.

Myth: "I know women who smoked and had normal-weight babies. The risks of smoking aren’t really that great."
Truth: Having a low-weight baby is only one of many risks that can happen when you smoke while pregnant. Some of the other health problems don’t show up until the baby is older. Kids whose mothers smoked during pregnancy are at greater risk for having behavioral problems, including ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).2-4 Kids whose mothers smoked during pregnancy are at an increased risk of having a learning disorder and becoming smokers themselves5-6.

[Butterfly Dawn]

Oh man, this is a bad topic. but.... yes dr may tell addicts not to give up. cut down not give up. its controversial but I know from experience and friends experiences. I gave up all my addictions when preg -even shoes cause my feet swelled, but I felt strongly about it. some dont or cant and its not really our place to judge. It can be very sad for the child affected and everybody knows that