Yael, do you have a good accountant, who you trust?

We have a family trust, to protect our assets from DH's business if he ever got sued. We can also disburse funds through the trust.

But I can't answer your questions.

We set it up based on our accountant's advice.

If I were in your shoes, I'd be going to see my accountant and telling him everything you posted above and asking advice. You won't look silly - they are there to provide advice. It's their service.

Sorry I can't be more help hun.