My money, Your money

[misty]

I have to say though that just because you have seperate accounts does not mean that you are not committed to each other!!
Kate

I didn't mean that. I read back my post and realise that this is how people my read it though, sorry Really didn't mean to offend anyone.

All I meant is that in a committed relationship there is a joint financial responsibility and accessability. Having seperate accounts isn't the issue - It is the 'attitude' of 'I earned this money, I deserve it, and I am being gracious sharing any of it with you'. I know couples some with families, who keep finances completely seperate - they put in for 'their' share much as you would with a flatmate. And when I look at these couples you can see that there are real cracks in their relationship. They are so concerned with what is 'theirs' that they have created a wall (intentionally or not) between themselves.

Having an 'allowance' or such that you can spend on yourself without having to justify yourself to your partner, can be a good thing - you are both adults after all. But both parties should be in agreement about that 'allowance' (probably more accurate to say allocation) and I don't think it is the same as keeping you money seperate.

I think it goes towards more then just the cash in the bank too. When you are in a committed relationship one persons debt is the debt of the other partner too, even if it is in one persons name, both share the responsibility.

Does that make sense?

[catherinemoses]

We have 3 accounts too. His, mine and ours. His account has money that he earns from ebay and is linked to paypal. He earns that money outside of work so he can do whatever he wants with it. I don't have any issues with this and he is happy cos he gets to spend it on things which I think are stupid to spend money on!

Other than that it is all our money. It works for us. I couldn't imagine working all of our finances out seperately, especially seeing as I don't 'work'.

[Cassius2]

we have joint accounts. although since i stopped getting an income it does seem a bit funny LOL!

we have a savings account, online savings and a term deposit. all in our names. the credit card is his, but i have my own card attached to his. this works well for us, as all our costs are shared anyway.

soon we'll have the mortgage account in our name too. scary stuff! LOL!

[Jakabella]

Misty - sorry that is how I read it - but I agree - its all OUR money and gets spent on the same things just its kept at the moment in seprate accounts - but its not My money or His money. We also find that any spare money that goes into my account that isnt taken by the house payment or cars then becomes "savings" so we can use all the money out of DH's account and still know that we have a little extra in mine that will not get used - unless its needed for some reason.

Sorry if I made you feel bad Misty - I miss ready your post.

Kate

[*Ang*]

All of our money is in joint accounts - we have never had "mine" or "yours" accounts. Some of our investments, both now and in the past have been in individual names but that is for tax purposes only. Altho sometimes I like to joke with DH about our current investment property being mine until he reminds me that I can then have the mortgage that goes with it!

My parents on the other hand for as long as I can remember have always had separate accts, and dad especially gets really possessive about "his" money. Mum keeps her money separate from dad cause he is EXTREMELY irresponsible and frivolous and if he had access to all the incoming moneys he would just spend it with no consideration to bills, food etc. So for them it works.

[~Hestia~]

DH & I share all our money, both pays go into same bank account. Never had an issue of what is his or my money - even though he makes considerably more than I do, he's never used that against me.
We do have a savings account that is in my name - but that's only for tax purposes. If he wants/needs to access it he can.

[Astrid]

We have the 4 accounts.
Joint - card access (me only, DH can go into the bank in an emergency) - all money goes in. Mortgage, car payment and groceries stays there. Bill money goes to the bill account, then pocket money to out personal accounts.
Joint - bill account, no card access only internet.
His - pocket money
Mine - pocket money, not that I ever give it to myself, but there is some backup money.

For our first 4 years together we kept accounts separate and we looked after certain bills. I looked after groceries and everyday bills. DH looked after rent, car payments, entertainment. Worked out about the same and actually worked quite well.

DH just cannot be trusted with money. Whilst he is great with maths, he thinks that it works differently once a $ sign is put in front of the figure. He think he can earn $6, spend $7 and still have $2 in the bank.

[~Serenity~]

well i have my account and dh has his account i have my money he has his,this is because i chose not to waste money and dh wastes his on crap instead of paying his bills he his behind in a few thing like his fine 960 and tax and his car 1100 due now and run up 400 phone bills and always used to waste money and not make his car payment etc......he is like a child with money and i cant afford for the family to go without nor will i get bad credit because of him wasting money,he is currently not working so were living of my payments mostly but usually i would pay half the rent,food,foxtel,daycare and then pay my phone,my car my insurance and whatever kids things like school and uniforms we halve...i dont think it has anything to do with commitment ppl do things in ways that work for them we are expecting #4 doesnt mean he will magically grow up and become responsible with money,i am the budgeting and automatic bank pay type of person and he is the if i pay it next week i can still spend this extra now,same as we know who will get what if we seperate as to who buys it because i end up buying everything like furniture and stuff coz he tends to not be able to save

this is what works for us when he is more mature and able to discuss purchases with me before making them and ot waste money then we will have a joint but right now were not at that place

[Cupcake]

One bank account for us. DP came up with the idea of him getting $100pw allowance in order for me to save as much money as we can as he is ALWAYS spending every last dollar lol now we're saving a heap more and all the bills get paid on time!!

[Lisa]

Our money is 'Our Money'
We have 2 accounts. One is a joint account, one is my account that I receive Child Support in from my Ex... that then becomes a savings account of sorts... DH knows he can have any money he wants or needs from that account anytime but he has never had to access it without me there.