Retaliation shopping! Are you guilty of it?

[Tinks]

No I don't do that but I probably would if DH came home and just announced that he needed x amount instantly for something we hadn't discussed.

Although...I never get Christmas or Birthday presents from DH and I have been known to go shopping to buy myself something becuase he is thoughtless. So maybe that is the same thing?

Raven, get yourself that thing (sorry can't remember what it was called) we were looking at in Melb the other week. You work hard and deserve it!

[~Raven~]

LOL yes that's the graphics tablet I was looking at, but I'm going to be strong because the "I deserve it" mentality has meant we've really gotten nowhere with our 7yo mortgage thanks to the ease we can redraw from it. I'm not buying till I've sold enough stuff on eBay to fund it

I buy my own Chrissie/B'day pressies at random times during the year too (like the purse I got when we were in the city the other week which will be from Santa lol) but this is different. It's up and buying stuff that isn't really needed but just because the other spending the money on themselves. He has the same thought process too I'm sure because I went out with you ladies last week, he spent $100 on bourbon because it was on special.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I suppose I do. DH doesn't go without, so I no longer do. I don't think "he spent this much on his hobby, that's a new pair of shoes for me" but I no longer think "no, I can't justify a couple of quid on something I will enjoy a lot" - I was just getting too resentful otherwise. And if I need new shoes I buy them without waiting for DH to spend lots of money! If I want to play Lego I just buy Liebs a present, no self-punishment for doing it.

[MummaSue]

Hehe, this is our version:

DH buys something, then he buys me something because he thinks that we should be equal.

[CrazyLady]

I on't retaliation buy. DP has given me free access to the bank account and I do buy myself things if they're on sale or i really need them (and we can squeeze it into the budget). Saying that though, we discuss bigger purchases prior to buying them.

[Lulu]

I used to feel like it....but like you I would end up changing my mind. Grumbling all the way though

[Rowellen]

We don't do that. Like Ali, we have pocket money each month. If DH wants to spend $500, he has to spend less of his pocket money & save for it. And so do I. We get the same amount of pocket money each but I must admit, DH spend his mostly on himself where I spend it more on DS. But that's my choice. I don't need anything.

[Cassius2]

I used to feel like it....but like you I would end up changing my mind. Grumbling all the way though

:yeahthat: lol! i can i grumble hahahaha!

[*Ali*]

We solved this problem by budgeting in pocket money into our budget, for the same very reason- I would spend and DH would feel like he deserved the same etc. So now we have a budget of $50 each a week to spend on whatever we please, for me it usually clothes shoes etc, and for DH is is stuff for his garden, pond etc. Bigger stuff we usually discuss and then budget/ save for.