I said no to an episiotomy. I said it was not to be done. I explained I knew the risks of tearing and what was being done to me and also the risks of tears with subsequent children. No, I didn't want it done. My (lost by the hospital) birth intentions said it was not to be done.

My cowed and on-their-side husband OKed it so I was cut. They had permission. Not by me, who was distracted by a midwife while they obtained permission from someone who will not be present at the next birth (this being just one example of him siding with them not me - he even pushed the drugs when they weren't around too!).

Personally, I think if a woman says no that should be enough. If she is intelligent enough to discuss and reason about it, there's no way the hospital can claim she's incapacitated enough to get permission from someone else (even if she's not that educated about birth and is still saying no, they should go with that, as she's capable of saying no based on the information she has, which is not usually given by "care" providers). I didn't employ an Ob, or rather I just had to go with what I was given (although I pay my health insurance, the system is not very good). So next time I am employing no-one because I trust no-one.

My forced episiotomy is just one example of why I now need to freebirth. WRT other professions - if a hairdresser cut my hair when I went in for a wash and set and DO NOT CUT, then I'd be well within my rights to complain. And hair is something that doesn't hurt or scar when it is cut, unlike a perenium. So why is it OK to carve up my body without my consent but not cut my hair? No-one should even touch me without my consent (according to the letter of the law), which again birth "care" people don't seem to bother about. Going into a hairdressers may be "assumed consent" for my hair to be cut, fair enough, but when I went in then said "no cutting" my hair should not be cut.

So standing around peering at a vagina (or abusing a vagina) with a baby coming out with a woman saying "no episiotomy" doesn't mean "go elsewhere for consent" or "just do it anyway as it's implied consent."