You know, you posted a similar question some time ago and I said that I was cut without consent, but it was ok because i'd consented to the forceps and just figured the episiotomy was necessary.

I've changed my mind completely. I honestly feel really ashamed to have been treated this way and to have tried to convince myself that it was ok.

How on earth anyone could think it's ok to cut someone's genitalia without explicit permission (and excepting in a life & death situation where the woman is incapable of giving consent) is completely beyond me.

Ultimately women should and must assume and retain autonomy over their bodies. Ideally, they will be cared for with dignity and respect by a carer who will work with them to ensure they have the best birth possible. For most mothers, this means they will feel trust and security in the advice offered by their carer. I kidded myself that I trusted my OB - but it was a sham to protect myself. He didn't think I deserved even an explanation, let alone the opportunity to decide for myself.