a question about choices

[Inanna]

Have you got news Aurora.... ?

OOOh I looooove these questions...

For the sake of being clear to all who read this (I think you know my story).
My DD14 (it's her birthday today!) was to be a homebirth - because I see birthing my babies as natural as doing a pee... A little harder work - but natural none the less. I am a nurse and had attended a number of homebirths and hospital births. It was a no brainer that my baby would be born into the water at home. Alas fate had other ideas! I transferred to hospital about 24 hours into the labour. My midwife was a beautiful woman very experienced at homebirth - but she was a born again Christian and her loud praying and "praise the Lord" exclaimations just about did me in... My beautiful girl was born vaginally but alas not naturally! I managed to keep at bay a very ferocious advocate for the unnaturalness of birth (his name is well known in Brisbane - he has about a 70% c/section rate...) Between pushes he "forced" me to sign a statement that I was birthing vaginally at my babies risk and peril... Now, I made an informed decision. My babies heartrate was normal, membranes were intact - I was absolutely exhausted but that was the only issue. I knew I wanted more babies and a c/section would only make vaginal births more difficult in the future. There was absolutely no way I was going to the OT.
I had a 2nd degree tear which I elected to not have sutured (again at my peril! )

Fast forward 6 years and I went to the birth centre at the RBWH. I had a beautiful midwife who supported my beliefs and advocated for me. It didn't even enter my mind that the surgeons knife was down the hall way. I knew my midwife and she knew me. She was my advocate and I trusted her implicitly. Importantly she trusted me and believed in me also.

My son was born into his Daddy's hands. My most vivid memory of that labour was my midwife cross stitching at a little table in the corner of the room - in between checks on me... It was beautiful.

My daughter was born much the same - but much faster and more furiously.

My next daughter was born at a private hospital - however I chose an obs who would agree to not enter my birthing space unless a doctor was required. He did so, and I had a midwife known to me (this hospital had a midwifery program that enabled this) support my labour. She was born into the water in a candlelit room surrounded by her siblings and my SIL...

Immy was an emergency c/s at 27+5 weeks...

So, would I have a home birth. You bet ya I would. Unfortunately I couldn't find a midwife to assist me in Brisbane at that time. However, knowing what I know now I had awesome births that really couldn't have been more empowering. The only down side was the drive to hospital that obviously wouldn't be needed if I had a homebirth.

The secret to empowered birth is education and support. Choose a birth place that will tick all your boxes. Care of another woman known by you and trusted by you is not just nice it is IMPERATIVE. Yep some women have great births without this - but when things stray by the wayside you need that woman. Be she a midwife or a Doula. Its not a negotiable.

You need to be educated and make it clear what your thoughts and decisions are. You need to ensure that your birth place have no restraints on movement, using water, managed 3rd stage, HEPB, candles, music, PV exams, what happens post dates, PROM etc etc.

There is no right place to give birth - however I'm a back to basics type of gal... Women have birthed their babies at home for ions - healthy women with uncomplicated pregnancies need not move from their loungerooms when labour begins. Provided they have in place good support.

If I were in your situation, with your history - I would be engaging an independent midwife, hiring a birth pool and trusting that your beautiful body will do it's job just fine. If something goes a little off track - you can transfer. That's not optimal but if it's necessary (and overwhelmingly things go fine!) then you will have a midwife with you to advocate for you and continue to support you...

Good luck with your decision...

[Cassius2]

great post flowerchild!!

i am reading this thread with so much anticipation! this has been my question for any future birth choices that i may have the privilege of making...

my optimal situation would be to go to the Mercy FBC. BUT i have immense fear in the strong possibility of transfer and to end up in a hospital environ if i had of been expecting a BC may catapult me straight back to PND land.
for that reason, if i suspected that there was too great a risk of not getting into the BC then i would most probably go HB. (unless of course there were actual risks to the baby or myself to birth vaginally etc).

hmm as you can see this has been a confusing decision. my DH is supportive of both BC and HB...so he's no help LOL!

either way i will have a ind. midwife or doula no matter what...

[Lulu]

Yep, I would have no problems birthing where I did last time - Angliss FBC.
For my first I had a private hospital birth with a Ob (I have cardiac history too). It has a very high rate of c/sect. It was a terrific experience but I totally put that down to my midwife and the head midwife. There were 2 that sucked - one that kept asking if I wanted pain relief and one that jabbed me without warning or permission with the syntocin shortly after DD was born.
The 2 good ones - they both guided me gently and gave me quiet strength.

Third birth at FBC - freakin awesome. Waterbirth, midwife and doula. It was just the three of us, chatting softly peacefully. Everything I think a birth should have been, it was.
Again, the difference is the people who are caring (or whatever you want to call it) for you when you give birth. No matter where you are.

If you have an Ob breathing down your neck, your support people will buffer you from them. Get a Doula chickie

So after all that blather, I actually felt more comfortable at the FBC than I would at home. For lots of silly reasons, but I was grateful that I could feel comfortable there as well as at home and create the sort of peaceful and safe environment I need to give birth.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I wouldn't object to a birth centre and was looking forward to going to one with DS (didn't happen though due to stupid lying dates which weren't right). TBH, I'd give birth in a hospital if there were an option for giving birth in a hospital rather than being bullied and treated like a lump of meat and cut up without your knowledge or consent. I had a good midwife for one shift in the hospital and, despite the bully on the ward, would have been able to give birth if I'd have had that sort of treatment (ie head around the door every two hours to see if I were OK!).

In fact, if I were to have any medical input in #2 then I'd go to a birth centre no problem. But I'm not even telling my GP, nor any midwives, nor any hospital that I'm pg next time so can't really book into a birth centre. The reason for that is because of the trauma around the whole DS thing. I just don't trust anyone. I actually would trust my current GP but can't risk getting anyone involved - and I will have a different GP next time due to having moved a long way out the area.

[Roryrory]

Thanks all for your input!

No, Flowerchild, I don't have anything to report but a few other threads on these boards just got me thinking about whether it was inherently the hospital or the nature of what goes on there that was the evil we often seem keen to avoid.

Love it when threads work well!

[Snacks]

Before having Phoebe I was of the opinion that it was just the hassle of being in hospital and the car ride that made me want a HB (which is why I didn't persue it further - DH was going to take a lot of convincing, and finances were tight etc. I chose hospital because my reasons for HB were not overwhelmingly important to me, not enough to cause tension between DH and I).
However, were I to give birth again (not planning on it, but lets just say the unexpected happened) I would insist on a HB because:
1. I had a similar experience to you - arrived in hospy and was in transition already. Why go through that painful car ride when you've done all the hard yards at home already?
2. The MW was lovely, but she hadn't seen my birth plan. As much as DH tried to communicate what was in it to her, I wish I had've had a MW who was aware of my wishes. I ended up birthing semi-reclined again. I wasn't in a position to argue with her when she told me to hop up on the bed so she could see where we were at. I stayed there waiting for her to examine me for what felt like ages. By the time she examined me Phoebe was on her way. I wish I hadn't have had to get up on that bed at all. I'm experiencing some physical problems that I'd lay money on being caused by pushing uphill.
Also, she let me try for a physiological 3rd stage, but she was really reluctant to. While that wasn't a problem really, it was just extra stress that I didn't need while in the throes of labour.

I don't feel violated by the care I received, I just know the care would've been tailored to my needs had I have had a HB, and not dictated by standard procedure. And if there's a next time, a HB's what I'll have.

[paradise lost]

I wouldn't go to hospital to birth even if they could guarantee me a natural experience for the same reason i don't go there for lunch even though they serve decent enough food. I have my own kitchen here, i don't need to go to hospital to eat, likewise i feel i have all i need to give birth at home and that for me hospital would be a hassle and a compromise, which unless i had to make it for medical reasons, i wouldn't be happy with.

I really don't see birth as an inherently medical situation, to me it is like eating, pooping, sex - yes, ok, on a grander scale, but not of a DIFFERENT nature. I wouldn't go to hospital for a really big meal/poo/orgasm. I'm not ill, why go to somewhere set up to deal with illness and pathology? Birth is just something i prefer to do at home, in close company, on my own terms.

I accept i might need to go to hospital, but i would never plan my birth around the possibility of something going wrong. That's like getting an annual script for anti-B's in case you have a cold every spring, or getting fitted for your casts every year in case you break a limb in the next 12 months. To me it makes no sense unless you have strong reasons to believe there will be a problem (i.e. a previous problem which wasn't caused by poor care and is likely to reccur).

So no, there's nothing about hospital that i find attracting barring medical emergency.

Bx

[sunshine_sieben]

I wouldn't go to hospital to birth even if they could guarantee me a natural experience for the same reason i don't go there for lunch even though they serve decent enough food.

Love it!
Although it is arguable that they serve decent enough food. But I suppose that's just it. The food might get the job done to nourish and strengthen, but it is just plain awful. Same goes for lots of hospital birth experiences. You do end up with a baby in your arms, but the experience was just not nice.

Actually, love the whole post. Very well said.

Sasa

[~clover~]

I'm pro choice, but TBH, my choice is hospital. I'd go birth center if I had the option - no question - but I haven't had that option, so never got the chance.
I'm just not comfortable with a HB. I don't know why, but its not me. At the same time I'd support a friend 100% for HB. I actually have a friend currently planning her second HB. (I think its her 2nd, she has 3 children & I know the last was, just not sure about the older 2.)
I also had really good experiences in hospital. Not perfect, but all 3 of mine were delivered by MWs & obs only checked on me once with DD1 & once (DS in distress) with DS.
I am 100% positive for MWs. I'm not keen on obs. I didn't see one through my second pg, just my GP as the first turned me off.