am i being naive to think i can have a natural birth?

[Ginger]

i'm looking for some reassurance here that i am not comletely naive to think i can do this without pain relief. so please, your stories, experiences, reassurances are all welcomed here!!i have to give my ob my birth plan tomorrow and i really want to be able to say- "i know the pain relief options that are available, please don't offer them to me. if i want them i'll ask". we had our birthing class today, and we were the ONLY couple who were attempting a natural birth. people were looking at me like i was a naive little girl who really had no idea. i felt really deflated as i was sure there would be other people who felt the same way. we were also the only couple that didn't know the sex of our baby- but that's a whole nother story!!! seriously, we felt like circus freaks at one stage there!!! ok, i'm exagerating now, but i would like some reassurance from you guys that it is something i can do, cos i left there really doubting myself. i'd love to hear from people who have gone in there with this intention, and how it worked out. thank you in advance

[Ozstar]

I dont think your being naive at all and if you are then so am I. I am going to try for a completly natural birth, my plan is to stay at home for as long as possible so there is less time for hospital staff to badger me about pain releif. My DH knows my intentions and will be supporting me all the way. With him by my side encouraging me and reminding me that I am strong and that my body CAN do this I am confident.
I would rather go into labour trying to do it all naturally and fail then not try at all.

[blue daisy]

Oh Gracie

It is so sad isnt it that other people judge...and love to put the 'negative' on it all

but guess what? you can so totally have a natural birth...its what our bodies are designed for, its just a matter of going with the process of labor and birth and not trying to control it

I think you should be so very proud of yourself for wanting to do it your way..yay for you

I wont post my birth story...its on my web page if you want to have a peak...birth can be a beautiful and empowering expereince, and you are certainly on the right path to achieve what you want for yourself and your beautiful baby

xx yogababy

[maddysmummy]

not at all!! sooo many people do have drug free births every day!! plus most people in birth classes are on there first baby and dont know what to expect!! dont listen to what anyone tells you,its your birth and how you want to do it!! people shoud be supporting you not looking down on you!!

[Trillian]

I think it is very very naive of the other parents to assume that it is too hard to have a natural birth. If that is what you want then no one has the right to laugh you off and say 'yeah, right' and then preceed to tell you their horror stories. You've done your homework and know what is available to you if you want it. That said there is also no point in being a martyr and simply refusing it on principle either kwim?

I have every confidence that you will get the birth that you want Gracie but if you change your mind then that is perfectly fine too - we do what we have to do. I think it would be interesting to see a follow up of your class after all the bubs are born and see just how many who went the whole kit and caboodle of pain relief and were unsastisfied with their births

[BellyBelly]

Gracie, good on you for wanting a natural birth, it is in the very low percent of people who do have one these days. Less than 3% of women in hospitals are having normal physiological births (thats with no thrid stage injections, pain relief, nothing). It's not because it's not possible, but the environment and socienty. I think the thing is you need to know and be aware of is what you are up against. Being in a private hospital with an Ob, you have a tougher job than in other environments

If you want a natural birth, it's important to surround yourself in an environment with carers who will help you have the best chance of that, those who believe in you and your ability to birth naturally and don't see birth as a minefield. The people I think are 'misguided' are the ones who write a birth plan saying they want a natural birth, but don't do anything about it, they don't educate themselves, plan and make sure they are prepared and supported for that, and think it will just happen! You don't just get what you write on the paper for your birth plan - you have to work for it and educate yourself!

Ways you can help to have a natural birth is to attend independent birth classes (check out Rhea Dempsey's classes), choose low risk birth facilities, like a birth centre or homebirth, educate yourself about the risks of drugs so that you have a real reason not to want them... and what I mean by that is someone saying they just dont want drugs so they can say that they had a natural birth - well thats not going to hold them in labour when the going gets tough. Knowing why, e.g. not wanting to have a c/s, or their baby to be exposed to those drugs for xxx reason, is going to give you more of a reason to hold on. You need to be committed, educated and supported. Get a doula or private midwife to support you.

Read the right books and not the popular commerical books like Up the Duff and What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Check out BB's recommended reading list, and there is also an article about aiming for a natural birth on the main site. Good luck

[Matryoshka]

Gracie you're not being naive at all! In fact its quite wonderful and empowering for you to be taking control of your choices there, as its your birth and you have every right to have want to enjoy it without the intrusion of any drugs or intervention. I can also say that it is indeed possible, there are many many women around here who've given birth without drugs, and imagine all the women who did so before drugs and intervention became mainstream! Your body is designed to do this on its own

Personally i also received much flack for not wanting an epidural, even had people laughing and rolling their eyes. So it was great when i was able to say that i didn't have the epidural and that it had been a great experience. So stick to your guns... in many cases i think people are just make these commments based upon their own experiences.

[Ginger]

aahhh, i feel better already...reassurance...
katie- it's good to know you have the same intentions. are you waiting to go into your labour now? your ticker indicates that your overdue is that right or am i reading it wrong?
yogababy- yes can i look on your website please?
thanks maddysmummy- i agree with you...i think they're all just a little scared too cos it's their first birth too. it is very overwhelming isn't it?
sherie- i totally agree with you about not being a martyr. i've accepted that i may not succeed in my plan, but i really want to give it a good shot iykwim??

[blue daisy]

just click on the Yoga Baby Bliss on my signature and it will take you thru

[Trillian]

Gracie, that's the starting point - knowing that you want it. I really can't see why women are ridiculed for wanting to do it naturally - afterall it is the most natural thing a woman can do so why interfere with that? You know that in yourself you are determined to do it and the more determined you are the more likely you will succeed.

[Ginger]

kelly- thank you for your advice. i will check out those classes...and the truth is i wish i knew that about obs and private hospitals when i first fell pg. i had no idea!! and thought it was the best option. i have read the articles on your website about birth plans and needing to have a reason to back you up. i also downloaded the one on there to guide me, so thanks for that..do you know the funniest thing about your post? every second couple today had read 'up the duff' and 'what to expect when you're expecting' and nothing else. too funny!!

ourlux- great to hear your story..thank you

[Ginger]

oh, forgot to say, i'm gonna read New Active Birth too!

[Ozstar]

Gracie, yep I am overdue (only 2 days) and waiting for labour to start. I am sure we will both be fine and get through our labours nicely, with the added bonus at the end of knowing we did it (or at least tried to doit) naturally. I am just going to stay positive and remind myself that my body is made for birth and I CAN do it.

[Jac]

kelly- thank you for your advice. i will check out those classes...and the truth is i wish i knew that about obs and private hospitals when i first fell pg. i had no idea!! and thought it was the best option. i have read the articles on your website about birth plans and needing to have a reason to back you up. i also downloaded the one on there to guide me, so thanks for that..do you know the funniest thing about your post? every second couple today had read 'up the duff' and 'what to expect when you're expecting' and nothing else. too funny!!

ourlux- great to hear your story..thank you

Hi Gracie,
My labour was natural and drug free, with an OB in a private hospital, without a written birth plan, so it is not necessarily a bad option! I had my husband supporting me, midwife came and went but provided minimal support and that was all that was needed. Like you, I wanted a natural birth. It wasn't until the very end that I considered requesting pain relief by which time I was ready to push (so didn't even ask for it - as my focus changed to pushing). YOU WILL DO IT!!! Also, I used a TENS machine and found it most helpful to work through my contractions. Without this, I don't think I would have done it without pain relief............. Good luck, your positive attitude and belief in your ability to do it will definately make a difference.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

The only naive thing I can see is believing hospital staff will adhere to your request not to push pain relief; that's what I believed too and now distrust hospital births even more.

I had a posterior bub and was pushing before I got so tired of fighting the midwives I agreed to pain relief. It really isn't painful so long as you accept it's not the most comfortable thing you'll ever do.

[Trish]

Gracie, good on you for deciding that you want a natural birth. What a sad state of affairs it is though that this is an unusual thing to want or plan though.

I had my last baby at home, and constantly got questioned about the drugs and told how brave I was. Simple, there are none !! I don't go into labour with a plan to need pain relief, I have a shower, a bath, massage and that's about it really. It wasn't about being brave either, it was just my choice.

I plan on doing exactly the same for this babies birth and fingers crossed all goes well.

On the other hand hun, if when the time comes that you do need some pain relief there is nothing wrong with that either. Labour and birth hurts, it's as simple as that. It's how you deal with that hurt that's up to you.

Goodluck for your impending birth. I wish you well and hope you come back to post your story afterwards.

Oh BTW, why not have a read through the birth stories on here. Mine is in there somewhere too. Although it will be a little diff to what you may be after, as like I said, it's at home.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Gracie - you're in good company right where you are! Up here in the hills there is change happening in attitudes. Yeah, it's taking its time, but we've got some pretty good people who are all too willing to talk about natural birth to normalise it!
I read Up The Duff and was appalled by its messages. What to Expect wasn't too bad, I did take away some good things about diet (making every bite count...although I didn't eat 100% perfectly, I did a lot of the time!) that I still use now, for breastfeeding. DP read "So, you're going to be a dad" just before we did our HypnoBirthing class (and during our FBC birth classes), and when I read a bit, I asked him not to bother reading it (he hadn't read much of it), because I was not going to have the kind of birth that book prepares you for!
New Active Birth is excellent, as is Janet's Waterbirth (even if you're not planning to give birth in water!). I wish I had read Sarah Buckley's Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering before the birth, but we did well without it.
As much as having a good birth is a great thing because it sets you up better for the next part, you might do well to think abotu the next part, too! So, with that in mind, I would recommend Pinky Mackay's Parenting by Heart, as well as having a good browse through the Ask Dr Sears website.
If you can get your hands on it, I absolutely recommend reading a book called The Vital Touch, by Sharon Heller. Beg, borrow or steal! For me it's a reference point when I start to doubt myself and the kind of parenting I want to do.
All these books get you back in touch with your intuition, because it's always there, it's just often ignored especially where there is peer pressure!
I was scoffed at (sometimes heartily!) when people asked about my intentions for our birth, and I early on developed a retort (either to say in my head, or more often than not out loud), and that is "Bite me". It really helped!
Put it this way, I am surrounded by women who have had one or more children already. They had births I didn't want to replicate. I knew what I wanted and I could picture it. I didn't have their support, but that was ok because I had my partner's support. Here's an honest admission; when my waters broke and we had told the FBC that we were on our way, I had doubts about my ability to stick out my plan. Turns out this was what Kelly has referred to previously as a Crisis in Confidence (or something like that), that happens near or at transition (correct me if I'm wrong!). That's fine, I can deal with that. However, as much as I love my friends dearly, it is with a tinge of bitterness that I recall thinking to myself during this very temporary crisis "Who the hell did I think I was? I was so ****y, I thought I could 'cheat' the system and have this zen birth". I did end up regaining myself and 'cheating the system' anyway, but I really resent that at the last moment, their negativity fed that crisis a little more than it needed and I did feel naive. Thank goodness I had a brilliant midwife who recentred me, and my partner used no words, just actions that brought me back to my aims.
Stick to your game plan and you never know, you may even affect someone in your circle and influence them to believe in themselves more, too.
Actually, you know what would help? I think you should come to the next Vic girls lunch in Ringwood (3 Sept) at the Coach and Horses - it really helps to be in the physical presence of supportive people to give you something to go on! And when you're closer to your due date, consider coming along to the local breastfeeding group of ABA. You'll get heaps of support there, too
Long post, sorry!

[Roryrory]

i wish i knew that about obs and private hospitals when i first fell pg. i had no idea!! and thought it was the best option

Gracie I might not have technically had a natural birth but I had no pain relief (gas when you are 9cm dilated doesn't do much LOL!) and pushed my posterior-presentation son out with no forceps or vacuum in a private hospital with an OB. So if you read up all you can, your DP/DH/birth partner is ready for it and supportive, and you believe you can do it then you are giving it your best shot