He DOES, however, now have a history of threatening violence (breaking doors down and using abusive language), so that should act in your favour.
Also, you still get to choose if he's going to be on the birth cert or not. More food for thought.
It does sound like there will be a relationship with a father, just perhaps not with the bio father.
I reckon he can earn his title, and not by harrassing you at the birth or in the lead up to it.
They will be able to tell you exactly what your rights are and what his rights are and what action can be taken on each side. Both before and after the baby is born. Make sure you keep all the text messages/emails and save any voice mail messages as this could heavily impact things regarding custody later one.
Mayaness, Problem is that violence is often not enough either Trust me, my child is right now spending the weekend with her father who put me in hospital more than once.
The court also doesn't see that "father-ship" has to be earned. I wish they did.
ETA: I just think it's really important to be educated and realistic about how the Family Court works before you enter into proceedings. My experience is too many people go into it all thinking they have "right" on their side so how could the Court not possibly see it their way. The truth is, it's usually not about "right and fair" - at least not when it comes to the parents. These people who think it is, often leave very, very disheartened by the system. I have a saying about the Family Court - If both sides leave feeling like they have been hard done by then justice has been done.
I imagine, that if it went to court, while your ex wont be allowed in the birthing suite during the labour and birth, he would be allowed to attend the hospital and spend time with the child immediately after the birth. This would likely be supervised. I am not a lawyer but I reckon that's how a court would rule, on the face of it. If you got an AVO now through the Magistrates' Court, that would strengthen your position if and when it got to Family Court.
Last edited by nothing2lose; September 17th, 2011 at 06:49 PM.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. what i do know is you can have whoever you want there at the birth and if need be exclude. Your ex has no rights to be at the birth. I would recommend you speak to legal aid, if you get in first i don't think they can represent your ex. It would also be next to impossible for ex to get custody.
Just wanted to point out there is no such thing as "custody" any more. The way it works now is the default position is that both parents have "shared responsibility" for a child. From there it is determined how much time a child spends with each parent. In cases of extreme violence (etc) or by agreement, one parent may be granted sole responsibility but this is very rare.
Rumple teaser is right that you need to get in first for Legal Aid. If he does, you won't be eligible to access them. That goes for Court Duty Solicitors too!
Last edited by nothing2lose; September 17th, 2011 at 09:14 PM.
Heys Alice .. sorry this is happening to yourself and your little Peanut. Please go see Legal Aid ASAP and get everything documented. Your personal safety is paramount ... i understand you had these very strong feelings about your X but you are *not* responsible, or at fault, or the cause of his actions, his choices. Things went bad for him because of the way he reacted to these stressors for himself - you are *not* at fault.
Please seek legal assistance. Please keep yourself safe. And enjoy your little Peanut.
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Trust me, my child is right now spending the weekend with her father who put me in hospital more than once.
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