I never really felt the urge to push like crazy....I was 10cm when I got to the hospital (thanks to my lovely bath at home) so was ready to....but as I said, I never had the uncrontrollable urge. My midwive had two fingers on my perineum to help me focus on 'where' to push if that makes sense, and when I had a contraction, she'd say 'Push Catherine, push!' (which was weird in itself as no one's called me Catherine for about 20 years!) which I did, three or four times until the contraction was over.
As it was, it took 2 hours to get Caty out (her poor little head!) so in hindsight perhaps I should have waited until I had the urge and I'd have gotten more rest and the pushing stage would have been quicker?
Whatever was the right 'way' to go, it was still a most fantastic birthing experience...
Good luck!