I agree with the others, there's plenty of time and he's probably a bit overwhelmed by it all. We had this discussion as well - in the end I told M what he needed to know (leaving out the really gory bits!) and that I really needed him to be there for me. I think he surprised himself with the support he was able to give me and he even cut Sebastian's cord! Not something I think he would ever have considered previously!

Don't feel as if he's letting you down if in the end he doesn't want to be there. It can be traumatic to experience if it's not you who's experiencing the birth, iykwim - when S was crowning and the midwife had to help his head out, I was screaming like I've never screamed before and M said all he wanted to do was to come over and push her away and stop her from hurting me... he said the sound of me screaming stayed with him for days afterwards

However, he's coming to this one too! In the end you want people there who can support you, so if not your DH, then a friend or doula or a private midwife, someone who can take that role for you. Once you have made that decision, you might find he's willing to be there too.